# Really?!  Weapons on Board?



## Clunegapyears (Dec 23, 2016)

We were chatting to a long time part timer in the Algarve.  She pointed to a cluster of German motorhomes and said that we would be surprised what weaponry they carried on board.  She also said it was not just Germans that carried self protection methods.  We don't as we work on the principles that a) we are pacifists as much as possible b) weapons could be used against us and we're cowards with low pain thresholds and c) they are illegal.

Got me wondering ... what weapons have you heard of being carried?  How many motorhomers do you reckon carry weapons?  Of course, none of the members on this forum would ... such a calm and peaceable bunch of bods.


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## wineciccio (Dec 23, 2016)

no weapons as such but I do carry a steering wheel lock which is metal of course and oddly enough is the same shape of a baseball bat but a little heavier, only used it once to threaten a Spaniard that was mouthing off me and other people in motorhomes, he soon realised I was not joking and legged it lol.:camper::camper::camper::camper::camper::camper::camper::camper:


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## trevskoda (Dec 23, 2016)

I carry no weapons but do have a 3ft breaker bar for wheel nuts or any other nuts.:hammer:


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## oppy (Dec 23, 2016)

I have something like this Tactical Self Protection, Defence Pen & Glass Breaker First Aid Safety Emergency | eBay in a pocket by the drivers window, and because I am neurotic, there is a small tazer type device close at hand when in Europe.
Us criminal types, I know !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## barryd (Dec 23, 2016)

I think if your camping anywhere where you actually feel you might need to have a weapon of some description then your stopping in the wrong place.

I did accidentally carry a loaded Russian Skif Air Pistol with a full 24 mag through 7 countries over four months though which I found in the bottom of the under seat locker on my return.   I had it up in Scotland along with an air rifle doing some shooting up there and clearly forgot to take it out.  Might have raised a few eyebrows if spotted at Dover. 

I cant imagine a scenario the places we go of having to confront someone with a weapon.  Any sign of trouble I would either call the rozzers (Done that before) or drive off.  If its a mad axeman coming through the window chances are he would get the wife first while I make my escape out the back and off down the road on the scooter anyway.


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## maingate (Dec 23, 2016)

I have a rolled up newspaper.

And I'm prepared to use it. :ninja:


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## alcam (Dec 23, 2016)

maingate said:


> I have a rolled up newspaper.
> 
> And I'm prepared to use it. :ninja:



Daily Mail ?


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## sasquatch (Dec 24, 2016)

My local pet suppliers sell a dog chew which is about 3 feet long and as thick and hard as a night stick. Imagine the statement fro the scrote who attempted a breakin 'he hit me with a stick officer', I then say 'it was only a dog chew officer!' Whom would he believe?


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## FULL TIMER (Dec 24, 2016)

Great big mag light right beside the door, useless as a torch but a good security device, other than that several knives dotted about without counting the chefs knives on the magnetic holder, think I've got a big  cleaver in the drawer, but I have no weapons only tools,


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## n brown (Dec 24, 2016)

this has been discussed before, and we all know that the authorities are more concerned with the rights of the offenders, so protecting yourself with any kind of weaponry is very dodgy. 
so you need to be thinking- what's acceptably innocent to be within reach ?
a spray can of Pledge, or carpet adhesive will glue the bad guy's eyelids together,no blood, no mess
i once fired off a large explosive device on a beach and a South African guy got out of his camper, furious at being disturbed, with a 44 magnum in his hand


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## 1 Cup (Dec 24, 2016)

*what do they want*

Two wallets.


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## Deleted member 52918 (Dec 24, 2016)

Clunegapyears said:


> We were chatting to a long time part timer in the Algarve.  She pointed to a cluster of German motorhomes and said that we would be surprised what weaponry they carried on board.  She also said it was not just Germans that carried self protection methods.  We don't as we work on the principles that a) we are pacifists as much as possible b) weapons could be used against us and we're cowards with low pain thresholds and c) they are illegal.
> 
> Got me wondering ... what weapons have you heard of being carried?  How many motorhomers do you reckon carry weapons?  Of course, none of the members on this forum would ... such a calm and peaceable bunch of bods.



Heads up people, you might be better off not saying if you carry a method of self defence.
You never know who's listening!

Phil


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## mark61 (Dec 24, 2016)

I've always got a good supply of PG tips. Do they count?


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## Deleted member 775 (Dec 24, 2016)

every bodies van will be a massive arsenal of weapon ,from the  jack handle ,to the knives we all carry ,the wifes hair spray makes a brill flame thrower  with about a meter  range  thing is i doubt any of us will ever have the need to use them realy ,and lets face it if we should have to heaven forbid ,you must use them immediately no point in threatening to use them or the crim will have them off you and they will use them .be like me dont put up a fight give the mugger what he wants ,i always carry a spare wallet with useless out of date or canceled bank cards with a few fake bank notes in , chuck the mugger that ,then as there running off ,a couple of well placed 9mm slugs in the back from the glock 26 in my trouser waistband  stops them :mad2::mad2:


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## jagmanx (Dec 24, 2016)

*Yes ... My religion*



Clunegapyears said:


> We were chatting to a long time part timer in the Algarve.  She pointed to a cluster of German motorhomes and said that we would be surprised what weaponry they carried on board.  She also said it was not just Germans that carried self protection methods.  We don't as we work on the principles that a) we are pacifists as much as possible b) weapons could be used against us and we're cowards with low pain thresholds and c) they are illegal.
> 
> Got me wondering ... what weapons have you heard of being carried?  How many motorhomers do you reckon carry weapons?  Of course, none of the members on this forum would ... such a calm and peaceable bunch of bods.



I am a devout coward !
Try not to stay anywhere "dodgy".

The worst we have had
1 The Citadel Namur.. Late night drinking and bottle smashing. Also earlier 2 young men "tried the door" whilst we were out walking round.
They could not open so they walked off. I simply watched but not so they knew.

2 "Gordons View" Edinburgh which is a POI
CR Cairnpapple Hill (W Lothian) Latitude = 55.925758 Longitude = -3.634195

Lots of casual overnight callers in . Maybe doing "business" or dogging.
Not a problem simply annoying mostly there for less than 30mins and no hint of hassle.
Apart from that it is a nice spot


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## antiquesam (Dec 24, 2016)

If you feel threatened enough to carry an arsenal of weapons it's surely time to give up the wilding and stick to the caravan parks.


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## trevskoda (Dec 24, 2016)

alcam said:


> Daily Mail ?



On reflection it could be the mirror.


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## trevskoda (Dec 24, 2016)

antiquesam said:


> If you feel threatened enough to carry an arsenal of weapons it's surely time to give up the wilding and stick to the caravan parks.



More chance of getting mugged there with all the drunks going from wobbly boxes to bars & back,and then there is the funny plant lot of there heads.


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## antiquesam (Dec 24, 2016)

trevskoda said:


> More chance of getting mugged there with all the drunks going from wobbly boxes to bars & back,and then there is the funny plant lot of there heads.



And that's just the other motorhomers.


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## trevskoda (Dec 24, 2016)

antiquesam said:


> And that's just the other motorhomers.



Caravan site outside larne a chap was caught making bombs and burying them in the woods near by,lucky he was observed by the curtain twitchers & many lives saved.


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## rockape (Dec 24, 2016)

I carry a BB pistol which looks like a Browning auto, it would do no harm but looks the part in the dark, having said that the wife also looks the part in the dark.


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## Asterix (Dec 24, 2016)

I carry a dog, he's big enough and loud enough to scare the bejesus out of anyone with nefarious ideas,I know he wouldn't hurt a fly,but they don't know that do they.


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## chrismilo (Dec 24, 2016)

I think the fire extinguisher is heavy and powdery enough 

Also my hyper dog  catapult with something other than a tennis ball in it could be painful 
Hyper Pet 4 Tennis ball launcher thrower catapult Shoots up to 200ft !! | eBay


Waiting for these to come back in stock !

Cole & Mason King Pepper Mill 72cm H441120 Pepper Grinder | eBay
:dog:


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## chrismilo (Dec 24, 2016)

Asterix said:


> I carry a dog, he's big enough and loud enough to scare the bejesus out of anyone with nefarious ideas,I know he wouldn't hurt a fly,but they don't know that do they.



My whippet would lick them to death  or one treat I'll let you in,  two treats I'll show you where everything is,   three treats I'll even keep lookout .


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## maingate (Dec 24, 2016)

alcam said:


> Daily Mail ?



Financial Times old boy. :cool1:


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## big tom (Dec 24, 2016)

We were once staying on the harbour at Saint Mazime  and got into conversation with an elderly   English couple, they were telling us that they had been broken into during the night while staying on the beach at Antibes his wife awoke and the intruder fled, I jokingly said you need a shooter,Iv’e got one he said, a little later on during the day there was a knock on the door and this gentleman was there holding a gun this is the gun he says I will sell it to you if you want it is just too heavy for me now, now imagine the scenario, me standing in the motorhome door and a man stood outside waving a gun at me I kept inviting him in as I feared someone would be reporting an armed robbery eventually he came in and we chatted a bit, sadly it seemed they were coming to the end of their motorhoming days and this incident could have been the final straw.


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## Martin P (Dec 24, 2016)

I've got a dark brown dressing gown with a hood and a garden scythe
I am the gggrrrrimm rrrrrreepppeerrrr


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## antiquesam (Dec 24, 2016)

rockape said:


> I carry a BB pistol which looks like a Browning auto, it would do no harm but looks the part in the dark, having said that the wife also looks the part in the dark.



Looks like your Christmas dinner is going to be donated to the dog.


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## mistericeman (Dec 24, 2016)

chrismilo said:


> My whippet would lick them to death  or one treat I'll let you in,  two treats I'll show you where everything is,   three treats I'll even keep lookout .



Be lucky for either of our two to drag themselves from under the duvet...


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## Dezi (Dec 24, 2016)

I travel with the wife, thats sufficient.

When annoyed she has a look that will stop a charging rhino and a tongue that will decapitate carrots at 50 paces.

I think she's wonderful. 

Dezi  :heart:


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## witzend (Dec 24, 2016)

Type of self defence spray readly avail in French supermarkets illegal in uk different sizes some like a lipstick tube


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## alcam (Dec 24, 2016)

maingate said:


> Financial Times old boy. :cool1:



Weigbty


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## Byronic (Dec 24, 2016)

n brown said:


> i once fired off a large explosive device on a beach and a South African guy got out of his camper, furious at being disturbed, with a 44 magnum in his hand



I might have heard of him, did he have legs?


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## CAL (Dec 24, 2016)

I always carry this with me. I think with the power of his jaws they'd permanently lose the use of an arm or leg, he's developed a low menacing growl warning when he's unsure which I hope would give them a clue to get lost.


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## ricc (Dec 24, 2016)

when i clear the tools out and chuck the mattress in i sometimes overlook the machette hanging behind the middle seat and the combination handaxe / hammer fencing tool in the drivers door pocket, a small fire extinguiser lives just to hand behind the handbrake.


you just need to have a plausable reason for carrying a dual purpose object and have it accessable.

even a pencil will work if necessary


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## n brown (Dec 24, 2016)

CS gas canisters are available in France, but maybe not a good idea in an enclosed space- could be a case of who recovers first !


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## Nesting Zombie (Dec 24, 2016)

I think that the BEST weapon I have on board,(in fact I TRY & Make sure I have it available at Most times) is Practical Common Sense.


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## Minisorella (Dec 24, 2016)

I've been told my chocolate brownies are deadly weapons... bit harsh I thought :sad:


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## maingate (Dec 24, 2016)

alcam said:


> Weigbty



It's feckin' Xmas man ...... lighten up. :mad2:


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## campervanannie (Dec 24, 2016)

I find my walking sticks are very handy and a necessity for me and when the police come to examine the blood soaked body of  a scumbag I would cry old disabled lady terrified and just reacted to save myself, couldn't possibly cry fear of rape they would just laugh.


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## Deleted member 32902 (Dec 24, 2016)

My first stop in France is the garage on the left half a mile from the Calais port, the old Eastenders, I always buy a canister of gas, its cheap enough to throw away after every trip. I also have a thick sock with a heavy stone in it, them cobbles on the beach are ace, nice and round and heavy.
I know the gas is the business cos we were coming home one time, in Calais port, just between the passport check and the emigration bit, I think, mrs seamus says " the gas ya feckin eejit, you still have the gas in the cutlery drawer!" I said give me it I'll just have to lob it the first chance I get, so I rammed the container into my pocket, I'm sitting behind the wheel, the canister is horizontal, the nozzle is pointing at my face, and wouldn't you just believe it, the plastic safety tab snapped, and I got a face full of the feckin stuff, had to stop in the middle of nowhere, couldn't see, eyes nippin out my head, mrs seamus drove the van to the ferry, I stayed down with the van for the crossing, lying on the top bunk with a damp cloth over my eyes, I kind of pity any fecker who gets a load of that stuff in the eyes, feckin deadly.


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## Lee (Dec 24, 2016)

n brown said:


> this has been discussed before, and we all know that the authorities are more concerned with the rights of the offenders, so protecting yourself with any kind of weaponry is very dodgy.
> so you need to be thinking- what's acceptably innocent to be within reach ?
> a spray can of Pledge, or carpet adhesive will glue the bad guy's eyelids together,no blood, no mess
> i once fired off a large explosive device on a beach and a South African guy got out of his camper, furious at being disturbed, with a 44 magnum in his hand



44 magnum that's a lot of ice cream to have in the fridge!!!!!!!


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## Tompa (Dec 24, 2016)

As mentioned previously the average motorhome is full of potential weapons, from the contents of the cutlery drawer to the jack handle. I carry a baseball bat complete with the ball for fun and games. If I,m wearing my boots I feel armed but in my crocs I feel unarmed, if you get my drift. Obviously talking your way out of a confrontation is best but it becomes difficult if 2 different languages are involved. I don,t know if things are the same now terrorism abounds but I remember admiring the shotguns and cartridges for sale in French supermarkets some years ago when I was a shooter. What chance have you got against one of those with a breadknife.
                           Tompa.


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## Nesting Zombie (Dec 24, 2016)

Mobile phone set to Record, Eye to Eye Contact, Adopt a Subdued Non Threatening but Confident Professional approach & Body Language with Empty Open Hands & Lower toned but Clear voice Procedure.Often shows that you are infact Use to Managing Yourself in Threatening Situations.
Also gives you time to Pro actively assess the situation & the threat level of the people involved. That can then be used to your advantage if the situation elevates to a point of you deploying Physical action of a Defensive nature.
Mobile phone turned off
Then Eat the Bodies !.


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## mistericeman (Dec 24, 2016)

I dread to think where some of you folks consider pitching up for the night after reading this thread :lol-061:


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## Nesting Zombie (Dec 24, 2016)

You've obviously not been to Alten Towers on a School Bank Holiday weekend have you !

Best meal I ever had..


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## witzend (Dec 24, 2016)

n brown said:


> CS gas canisters are available in France, but maybe not a good idea in an enclosed space- could be a case of who recovers first !



Thats the stuff as said not for use indoors but good for dangerous dogs


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## witzend (Dec 24, 2016)

mistericeman said:


> I dread to think where some of you folks consider pitching up for the night after reading this thread :lol-061:



A few months ago a French man was murdered in a aire of a small village in  Alsace better to be prepared if some one comes a knocking


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## mistericeman (Dec 24, 2016)

witzend said:


> A few months ago a French man was murdered in a aire of a small village in  Alsace better to be prepared if some one comes a knocking



Every few seconds someone dies in a car accident.... You are frankly far far far more likely to die in that way on the way to or from your destination than actually at it. 
The best precaution of all would to be stay at home actually that's fraught with danger too... maybe wrap our selves in cotton wool... ohhhh no danger of suffocation.... 

Tongue firmly in cheek there BTW BUT come on folks lets not blow the whole thing out of proportion.... 
Just a bit of care to not end up parking in places that 'could' possibly result in disturbance (supermarket car parks/industrial estates/country car parks, close to conurbations frequented by doggers, boy racers and ner do Wells would go a, long way most of the time without you having to 'tool up' and become Rambo.


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## oppy (Dec 24, 2016)

FULL TIMER said:


> Great big mag light right beside the door, useless as a torch but a good security device, other than that several knives dotted about without counting the chefs knives on the magnetic holder, think I've got a big  cleaver in the drawer, but I have no weapons only tools,


How about this for a torch :--http://www.newfrog.com/p/3-mode-baseball-shape-bat-security-long-cree-q5-led-flashlight-lamp-torch-35895.html?PMC=MME&utm_source=makesbridge&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_content=xmasweekend&utm_campaign=20161224&UTM=makesbridge&bms.id=a2oppy@live.co.uk&bms.tk=BzAEqwsEk20Ej21Tp30Sl33Pp26Js17Kq20Ns21BbgsFyh


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## flyinghigh (Dec 24, 2016)

oppy said:


> How about this for a torch :--http://www.newfrog.com/p/3-mode-baseball-shape-bat-security-long-cree-q5-led-flashlight-lamp-torch-35895.html?PMC=MME&utm_source=makesbridge&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_content=xmasweekend&utm_campaign=20161224&UTM=makesbridge&bms.id=a2oppy@live.co.uk&bms.tk=BzAEqwsEk20Ej21Tp30Sl33Pp26Js17Kq20Ns21BbgsFyh



i have one, but it's a bit light for thumping someone, it works well as a light, but an old 4 batteryu2 maglight would make a much better weapon if needed,


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## myshell (Dec 24, 2016)

I have a picture of my mother in law stuck to the inside of the window, if that doesn't deter all the bad guys I also  carry one of my French balls wrapped inside a sock, (oops sorry that should read French Boules) with another 7 of them as backup if needed.View attachment 49518


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## antiquesam (Dec 24, 2016)

mistericeman said:


> Every few seconds someone dies in a car accident.... You are frankly far far far more likely to die in that way on the way to or from your destination than actually at it.
> The best precaution of all would to be stay at home actually that's fraught with danger too... maybe wrap our selves in cotton wool... ohhhh no danger of suffocation....
> 
> Tongue firmly in cheek there BTW BUT come on folks lets not blow the whole thing out of proportion....
> Just a bit of care to not end up parking in places that 'could' possibly result in disturbance (supermarket car parks/industrial estates/country car parks, close to conurbations frequented by doggers, boy racers and ner do Wells would go a, long way most of the time without you having to 'tool up' and become Rambo.



I agree with your sentiments but your list of no go areas doesn't leave many options. I think the only place left is the drive. I spend most of my wilding nights in country car parks and wouldn't know a dogging site until it was too late to worry about it.


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## GWAYGWAY (Dec 24, 2016)

I have a spray of red gel that projects about a metre and is VERY difficult to wash off anything. If it get in the eyes gums them but no permanent damage to anything just gums and stings . Very cheap and small to carry, look for Youtube  for FARB GEL SPRAY.  very cheap and would certainly mark out the bad man, for the police, as it looks like blood causes a bit of consternation in the public.  I use it when collecting cash from the bank  (not on them you fools)
IF you have a walking stick and really need it as weapon, do not try and strike somebody as it is not effective. use it as a prod stick in the solar plexus 
and it is then VERY effective. The police use the new handed truncheons that way straight out at the gut. It also has the advantage of range and difficult to deflect by the receiving party .


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## malagaoth (Dec 25, 2016)

Sorry but if I felt the need to go armed I wouldnt be parking there.

there is a lot you can tell by just walking around a rural car park, are there lots of beer cans? broken bottles, skid marks? drug paraphernalia - not just needles but torn up roll up paper wrappers - and  condoms If I see any of the above in excess them Im out of there


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## witzend (Dec 25, 2016)

mistericeman said:


> Every few seconds someone dies in a car



You take precautions I take a can of self defence spray I don,t have to get within 6 ft of attacker so much better than precautions or statistics


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## mistericeman (Dec 25, 2016)

witzend said:


> You take precautions I take a can of self defence spray I don,t have to get within 6 ft of attacker so much better than precautions or statistics



Far far better to not be in the situation in the first place....
 as above look carefully at where you are considering parking up. 
A bit of forethought goes a long way... Id suggest IF someone is that worried that they think they need to have weapons, on board, a camp site might be a, better option for them.


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## IanH (Dec 25, 2016)

I Have!!

Though it's recognised as "non lethal"
It's a very powerful LED torch, google KLARUS XT11
Basically it blinds anyone it is pointed at, for about 12 to 24 hrs

As a torch it is unbelievable, I reckon I could drive the truck on a motorway with just this, clearly I won't of course.

Kept in a holster inside the hab door, ready for anyone who wishes to enter without my express permission!!!


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## Funnymunny (Dec 25, 2016)

I was asked this very question when pulled into the customs shed in Dover on the way to Calais
" Do you have any dangerous weapons on board " my answer Just the wife !!


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## rockape (Dec 25, 2016)

malagaoth said:


> Sorry but if I felt the need to go armed I wouldnt be parking there.
> 
> there is a lot you can tell by just walking around a rural car park, are there lots of beer cans? broken bottles, skid marks? drug paraphernalia - not just needles but torn up roll up paper wrappers - and  condoms If I see any of the above in excess them Im out of there


Just another night then in a poi.


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## spigot (Dec 25, 2016)

Being an antique dealer, I have a 19th century copper's truncheon & a bayonet that I bought from a French fleamarket (got the receipt), also as has has been mentioned, a large Maglite torch, enough to cave anyone's bonce in.

I also carry a pepper spray which I leave behind with a mate in Spain before returning to UK, plod would have a field day if that was discovered over here.

With 4 Harrison Deadlocks, I consider myself fairly safe with all this lot, I keep away from large groups & motorhome ghettos, any bad vibes received from a location,  I just move on.


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## moby56 (Dec 25, 2016)

GSD and if they get passed the dog the wife will have them
:lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053:


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## spigot (Dec 25, 2016)

antiquesam said:


> If you feel threatened enough to carry an arsenal of weapons it's surely time to give up the wilding and stick to the caravan parks.



I've heard of more break-ins happening in campsites or aires than out in the wilds.


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## jagmanx (Dec 26, 2016)

*Yes*



spigot said:


> I've heard of more break-ins happening in campsites or aires than out in the wilds.



But mainly because there are many many (x100 maybe) more instances of overnights in aires and campsites !

Not saying you are wrong but it is appropriate to consider the statistcs


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## antiquesam (Dec 26, 2016)

spigot said:


> I've heard of more break-ins happening in campsites or aires than out in the wilds.
> I really can't imagine being threatened enough to feel the need to arm myself to the teeth. I suppose some people are just naturally nervy and would be better off staying at home and trying not to think about the burglars in their home town.


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## Deleted member 775 (Dec 26, 2016)

after wild camping for some 40 ish years in tents ,cars ,vans , and yes even caravans it can be done although nowadays it may be slightly easier to use a cheap cl site now 5 /10 quid a night ,i think if your that afraid /nervous of being attacked/robbed or roughed up a bit for your worldly goods to go as far as arm yourself with various implements of mayhem ,well thats if you would realy have the balls to use them  because hesitate and the attacker will have them off you and use them himself/herself and your realy in the doodoo then ,because lets face it when confronted by a drug crazed looney ,which lets face it most attackers are  you cannot stop them with a sledge hammer belive me i know after suffering an attack in Liverpool whilst on a night delivery for superdrug  .young lad about early twenties ,turns out he was orbiting mars on crystal meth ,and decided myself and the driver was due a kicking before he robbed us ,belive you and me we fought resorting to literally kicking him in the jaw and face full whack with steel toecap boots  he went down in a pile ,then got up and said if thats the best you can do then come on well thats untill he was knobbled by a couple of cops they had him well sorted . so if your that worried ,its time to pack wilding in and go on a camp site . oh by the way ,in the uk if you should use an offensive weapon you leave yourself open to going to court being fined or even wild camping in chokey , and then being sued by the attacker for damages after kicking them about  a bit .crazy realy ,a few of our friends in the states cannot understand why if somebody attacks you in your own property why we cannot shoot them  as they can ,they say its much easier ,and saves court and police time and energy and cash taking the perps to court then the thousands of pounds it costs looking after them , and they cannot do it again to somebody else ,can they 

anyway sleep comfy in your beds the chances of being turned over a million miles from anywhere in the wilds is vertualy non existent , your more than likely going to get robbed in your own so called safe home  . anyway what self respecting robber would realy want to rob somebody for there money /diamonds that are too tight or poor to park up in a laybye or carpark .


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## The laird (Dec 26, 2016)

Always have carried a tool at the siege of my drivers seat from when I did 24hr recovery as some of the places you got sent to were dodgy in Scotland and England which you were not familiar with
Old habit I'm afraid


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## Robmac (Dec 26, 2016)

I no longer carry anything as a weapon, although I suppose there are items in the van which could be used as such.

I used to carry a hammer in the side door of my work van, and it was actually brought out in anger just once. A very effective deterrent it turned out to be too.


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## Tbear (Dec 26, 2016)

Please don't forget that if you have a weapon in your hand, you up the anti in both the eyes of an aggressor and the law. We used to carry a rounders bat which is a girly toy unless you are being cracked on the shin with it. It is light and short enough to swing in a confined space. Jabbed into the face of someone trying to enter could make them think otherwise. It is easy to conceal it behind your arm.

My brother gave my wife a carabiner to carry in her handbag. It is not a knuckle duster it is to help her carry heavy bags, "Honest ur oner".

I in no way suggest that you use these tactics but the possession of such items may give nervous people the confidence to have a good nights sleep 

Richard


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## trevskoda (Dec 26, 2016)

malagaoth said:


> Sorry but if I felt the need to go armed I wouldnt be parking there.
> 
> there is a lot you can tell by just walking around a rural car park, are there lots of beer cans? broken bottles, skid marks? drug paraphernalia - not just needles but torn up roll up paper wrappers - and  condoms If I see any of the above in excess them Im out of there



You have condoms in downpatrick.:scared:


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## londontavern (Dec 26, 2016)

Sound recording of the wife's hair dryer and home vacuum cleaner (no need to turn up the volume). It will drive any male or crazy out the van. Off course you will then end up standing outside the van with your ears ringing, exchanging sympathetic stories with the intruder which will perhaps, get you an invite to meet and socialize with the local criminal fraternity. 

In the case of a lady intruder have a dvd recording of 'Meet the Midwife' to hand or get your wife/partner/intruder to discuss their 'feelings.

You will still end up outside the van for sometime so always keep a bottle of wine ready for these emergencies.

No violence involved unless she sees this post...


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## spigot (Dec 26, 2016)

This year for instance there two break-ins at the municipal campsite at Chartres, & that's just from 2 people who had it happen to them.
I am not paranoid, just taking precautions.
I did a total of 4 months wilding this year in France & Spain & never once felt threatened.
But one can never be too careful.


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## antiquesam (Dec 26, 2016)

spigot said:


> This year for instance there two break-ins at the municipal campsite at Chartres, & that's just from 2 people who had it happen to them.
> I am not paranoid, just taking precautions.
> I did a total of 4 months wilding this year in France & Spain & never once felt threatened.
> But one can never be too careful.



"Break in" usually refers to a forced entry into an empty vehicle. Most burglaries happen when you aren't there, so weapons are useless, unless you carry them around with you in case you come across a break in actually happening.


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## Nesting Zombie (Dec 26, 2016)

I will assume that there's (Hopefully) Mainly Novices, & the UN initiated in ACTUALLY being broken into, OR being Physically Threatened to the point of requiring any Defensive Tactics & Weoponary Being adopted by yourself that are posting.
So it's possibly worth considering the Embarrassment, Pain, Discomfort & Longer term effects that may arrise from Having YOUR chosen  WEOPEN taken from YOUR Scared & Probably untrained hands during such an event & Used against You & The others on Board by Groups of People that Have Probably done things like this many times before.

IF you're going to take such measures or Preparations, LEARN & UNDERSTAND How to use them effectively within your Capabilities & Environment.


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## Deleted member 2636 (Dec 26, 2016)

maingate said:


> I have a rolled up newspaper.
> 
> And I'm prepared to use it. :ninja:



Aha - the dreaded "Millwall Brick" 

There's also the dear sweet Doggy - 


and, not forgetting the Mess Webley  -


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## maingate (Dec 26, 2016)

I forgot about my Attack Dogs.



Thanks for the reminder. :lol-061:


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## malagaoth (Dec 26, 2016)

> You have condoms in downpatrick



of course not! but Ive heard of them


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## trevskoda (Dec 26, 2016)

baloothebear said:


> Aha - the dreaded "Millwall Brick"
> 
> There's also the dear sweet Doggy - View attachment 49529
> 
> and, not forgetting the Mess Webley  - View attachment 49530



Not much beats the old webley.


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## Deleted member 52918 (Dec 26, 2016)

I think they may have a problem getting near enough to me, to take my 3ft long broad sword from me.

It was 5ft long but I found it a little bit awkward to cut the intruders bits off, in the confines of a van!

I of course am only joking but?!

Phill


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## barryd (Dec 26, 2016)

maingate said:


> I forgot about my Attack Dogs.
> 
> View attachment 49531
> 
> Thanks for the reminder. :lol-061:



Yeah they might not look scary but one fart from that Pug will kill a burglar at ten yards.


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## Byronic (Dec 26, 2016)

I have the 'Spare Thetford Toilet Cassette' self defence strategy. One cassette is always at least half full. I rip out the cassette and point at the yellow cap when facing a miscreant, if that doesn't work I flip open the sealing blade and pour in a San Miguel and give the cassette a bloody good shake then close blade and open cap (hopefully pointing spout in the right direction) Goes off like a fire extinguisher, in fact that's another good use for it.
Anyway has worked for me on many occasions I can assure you. The fuzz have always considered this method to be self defence using a very offensive but legally held weapon, furthermore they have thanked me for making it easy to get on the scent of scrotes and sniff them out.


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## Deleted member 56601 (Dec 26, 2016)

Byronic said:


> I have the 'Spare Thetford Toilet Cassette' self defence strategy. One cassette is always at least half full. I rip out the cassette and point at the yellow cap when facing a miscreant, if that doesn't work I flip open the sealing blade and pour in a San Miguel and give the cassette a bloody good shake then close blade and open cap (hopefully pointing spout in the right direction) Goes off like a fire extinguisher, in fact that's another good use for it.
> Anyway has worked for me on many occasions I can assure you. The fuzz have always considered this method to be self defence using a very offensive but legally held weapon, furthermore they have thanked me for making it easy to get on the scent of scrotes and sniff them out.



You would kill all the bacteria in the tank!


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## spigot (Dec 26, 2016)

jagmanx said:


> But mainly because there are many many (x100 maybe) more instances of overnights in aires and campsites !
> 
> Not saying you are wrong but it is appropriate to consider the statistcs



I would hazard a guess that in Spain, where most of the break-ins appear to happen, there are more wilding than dwelling in campsites or aires.

Especially in the last couple of years, as many 100s of Germans & French have bottled out of Morocco.


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## Byronic (Dec 27, 2016)

spigot said:


> Especially in the last couple of years, as many 100s of Germans & French have bottled out of Morocco.



And a few Brits, as I'm witnessing right now.


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## hotrats (Dec 27, 2016)

baloothebear said:


> Aha - the dreaded "Millwall Brick"
> 
> There's also the dear sweet Doggy - View attachment 49529
> 
> and, not forgetting the Mess Webley  - View attachment 49530


Do you have a blue heeler?


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## Myrkk (Dec 28, 2016)

I'm a red-headed, menopausal, Scot!  Believe me they better be well armed if they come face to face with me if they are a burgling, esp. After recent events.
Failing that I sleep with a heavy torch by my head jic for the rare occasion the two dogs aren't with me


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## Byronic (Dec 29, 2016)

Red headed, menopausal and a Scot? Even more frightening to the scrote if you happen to be a bloke.


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## witzend (Dec 29, 2016)

Since seeing this thread I,ve inquired of several continental motorhomers and all of them have at least one sort of weapon most have some sort of spray. So beware if approaching them  you may get  skitted mistakenly


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## Deleted member 64209 (Dec 31, 2016)

*Fearsome beast*



CAL said:


> View attachment 49485
> I always carry this with me. I think with the power of his jaws they'd permanently lose the use of an arm or leg, he's developed a low menacing growl warning when he's unsure which I hope would give them a clue to get lost.



Mine does good 'growl', thinks she's the Mike Tyson of dogs but at 3kgs wet would only scare a cat burglar.... Cat burglar... get it... I don't know how I do it for the money...:wacko:


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## wildman (Dec 31, 2016)

we all carry weapons on board unless you eat with a plastic plate and pusher, hee hee


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## Deleted member 64209 (Jan 1, 2017)

*Large explosive device...*



n brown said:


> this has been discussed before, and we all know that the authorities are more concerned with the rights of the offenders, so protecting yourself with any kind of weaponry is very dodgy.
> so you need to be thinking- what's acceptably innocent to be within reach ?
> a spray can of Pledge, or carpet adhesive will glue the bad guy's eyelids together,no blood, no mess
> i once fired off a large explosive device on a beach and a South African guy got out of his camper, furious at being disturbed, with a 44 magnum in his hand



So let me get this right... the Campervanman who might have been reading the paper, sleeping or giving his missus 'the benefit' had a 44 Magnum hidden in his van somewhere right up until the time you detonated 'a large explosive device' nearby.... If this is something you do on a regular basis please can you let us know where and when you're planning your next dynamite test so we can take evasive action? Alternatively do you accept commissions and or might you consider suggested locations from other members as I can certainly think of some


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## sagart (Jan 1, 2017)

Daughter in Oregon thought this might help the debate 5 Great Gun Racks for Your Vehicle - Petersen's Hunting
and
http://www.handgunlaw.us/documents/LongGunDraftDocument.pdf

Her neighbour has a mount fitted in his Rv so that his gun points at the entry door, he's puzzled that she and her husband haven't one in their van " you British are odd!"


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## Tbear (Jan 1, 2017)

sagart said:


> Daughter in Oregon thought this might help the debate 5 Great Gun Racks for Your Vehicle - Petersen's Hunting
> and
> http://www.handgunlaw.us/documents/LongGunDraftDocument.pdf
> 
> Her neighbour has a mount fitted in his Rv so that his gun points at the entry door, he's puzzled that she and her husband haven't one in their van " you British are odd!"



Odd and Bloody proud of it!!!

Richard


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## Mikeingham (Jan 1, 2017)

*Self defence*

Re debate as to wether to bear arms in a motorhome or not
An often overlooked item we all hopefully use is available for self defence
An aerosol deodorant spray....deodorant or hairspray/ furniture cleaner etc.
A nicer , sweeter way to tell an unwanted person to bugger off....
Some are very powerful an a quick squirt in the face of offender is usually enough to change their mind or at least make good an escape I advocate a pepper or mace type spray if legal in that country...
If someone is gonna mug you a quick rifle in a bag or pocket is all that's needed...I recommend right guard
Personally ( for odour control only)!!!!but it has a powerful blast.
Happy new year.


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## antiquesam (Jan 1, 2017)

If a deodorant is a weapon then I confess to carrying one in the van, but I would have to excuse myself and go to the toilet to retrieve it. In doing this I would pass a drawer full of knives after squeezing past the assailant.


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## Byronic (Jan 1, 2017)

bedonwheels said:


> So let me get this right... the Campervanman who might have been reading the paper, sleeping or giving his missus 'the benefit' had a 44 Magnum hidden in his van somewhere right up until the time you detonated 'a large explosive device' nearby.... If this is something you do on a regular basis please can you let us know where and when you're planning your next dynamite test so we can take evasive action? Alternatively do you accept commissions and or might you consider suggested locations from other members as I can certainly think of some



Mr. Brown can no doubt answer for himself. 
In Spain and Portugal no excuse is needed at any time of the year to detonate some bloody mighty loud fireworks, He may just have just been going native 
at that particular time.


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## willdbill (Jan 1, 2017)

just for the benefit of any new comers to going wild camping there is no nead to worry or carry any weapons of any kind especially a illegal fire arm.
i am sure there is only one weapon you will nead that's common sench.
I have wild camped free parked for over twenty years now with very few if any problems if it docent look right Don't park their move on.
This talk of caring fire arms pepper spray probably would inflame the situation your best deference if really worried abut getting robed or murdered when on your travels give up motor homing and become a monk 
wildbill


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## Byronic (Jan 1, 2017)

That's an apt and timely reminder, Wild Bill Hickok he carried a .36 Navy Colt for defence, and look what happened to him


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## n brown (Jan 1, 2017)

Byronic said:


> Mr. Brown can no doubt answer for himself.
> In Spain and Portugal no excuse is needed at any time of the year to detonate some bloody mighty loud fireworks, He may just have just been going native
> at that particular time.


 at the time i was friendly with the owners of a firework factory, who were happy to sell me any amount of black powder bangers, rockets and fuses. great fun round the campfire of course, but some of the bangers had 3 or 4 ounces in , wrapped in layers of brown paper, and they made an incredible bang. i may have startled him i'm afraid


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## alcam (Jan 1, 2017)

n brown said:


> at the time i was friendly with the owners of a firework factory, who were happy to sell me any amount of black powder bangers, rockets and fuses. great fun round the campfire of course, but some of the bangers had 3 or 4 ounces in , wrapped in layers of brown paper, and they made an incredible bang.* i may have startled him i'm afraid*



Understatement of the year ! [yes I know]


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## Byronic (Jan 2, 2017)

Obviously not what a touchy South African was expecting,
but to be fair exploding bangers at a.campfire usually means a few sausages have popped:


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## shader (Jan 2, 2017)

campervanannie said:


> I find my walking sticks are very handy and a necessity for me and when the police come to examine the blood soaked body of  a scumbag I would cry old disabled lady terrified and just reacted to save myself, couldn't possibly cry fear of rape they would just laugh.


 haha!!  a new use for my white stick ,thanks annie.x


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