# Homeless in T- 10 days... full timing in my self build + large tent!!!!?????



## jenks (Jun 20, 2013)

Hi everyone, long time lurker here.... 

So myself and the Mrs are at breaking point and have decided to go our separate ways, sadly I simply don't have enough money to pay letting agent fee's / deposit / first month up front, I have no savings no room on credit card and once I find somewhere to rent based on these prices round here I have less money per month than I do now, bad part is there's a 17 month old baby involved. This will always keep me in this area, and I will be the Dad that has 50% custody etc. I have only lived here for 2.5 years and as such have no real friends (they are all Mrs friends really), I have no-one to  fall back on. I earn too much to be eligible for help and I have a property in South Wales that I rent out (at a small loss) so am technically not homeless until I move back there (with no job) and it gets re-possessed, or declare bankruptcy and loose everything. Anyway I apologise I digress enough of the sob story here's where you lot come in.....

I am considering going full time camper with my self build (landrover 110) and a large tent for several months so I can save a couple of grand for the cost of renting somewhere and clear down the damned credit card and a loan or two. I've found a local campsite that offer electric hookup which I'll use for microwave / charging batteries etc, and I'll most likely sleep in the tent, when it gets chilly I'll put a small electric heater on. Have I gone barking mad or is this a viable way to keep my current job and stay local enough to be a very active parent to my son?


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## vwalan (Jun 20, 2013)

hi. welcome .you can only try . better to try than not at all . tents can get cold . but lets hope you get fine weather . its a hard life sometimes . hope you get sorted . lots live just in 110 landies for months . mind usually in winter in warm climates . but good luck to you .


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## n brown (Jun 20, 2013)

makes perfect sense. look on google for small thickets ,then walk them .I've noticed a few tents in the woods round here.stay clean and keep a low profile. more and more people are feeling the pinch and homeless people who look after themselves are getting more understanding        use your landy like a calling card to introduce yourself to farmers and landed gentry. they're all struggling and a few quid a week isn't to be sneered at anymore !


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## jenks (Jun 20, 2013)

You can now message people on MSN / Skype if the msn contact is using Skype - chatting now


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## rockape (Jun 20, 2013)

jenks said:


> Hi everyone, long time lurker here....
> 
> So myself and the Mrs are at breaking point and have decided to go our separate ways, sadly I simply don't have enough money to pay letting agent fee's / deposit / first month up front, I have no savings no room on credit card and once I find somewhere to rent based on these prices round here I have less money per month than I do now, bad part is there's a 17 month old baby involved. This will always keep me in this area, and I will be the Dad that has 50% custody etc. I have only lived here for 2.5 years and as such have no real friends (they are all Mrs friends really), I have no-one to  fall back on. I earn too much to be eligible for help and I have a property in South Wales that I rent out (at a small loss) so am technically not homeless until I move back there (with no job) and it gets re-possessed, or declare bankruptcy and loose everything. Anyway I apologise I digress enough of the sob story here's where you lot come in.....
> 
> I am considering going full time camper with my self build (landrover 110) and a large tent for several months so I can save a couple of grand for the cost of renting somewhere and clear down the damned credit card and a loan or two. I've found a local campsite that offer electric hookup which I'll use for microwave / charging batteries etc, and I'll most likely sleep in the tent, when it gets chilly I'll put a small electric heater on. Have I gone barking mad or is this a viable way to keep my current job and stay local enough to be a very active parent to my son?


 Go for it,,, Remember, faint heart never won fair maiden.


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## Deleted member 21686 (Jun 20, 2013)

Yes go for it we have many full timers on here.


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## Smaug (Jun 20, 2013)

Invest a few quid in an inflatable mattress & a good quality sleeping bag I spent a night on ice & snow in Jan this year to get t family tickets for a show. It was only a small pop-up tent, but the lilo & 3 seasons mummy sleeping bag plus a liner kept me snug as a bug. 

Good luck & don't despair, nothing comes without a struggle & things will get better if you keep working at it.


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## jenks (Jun 20, 2013)

Smaug said:


> Invest a few quid in an inflatable mattress & a good quality sleeping bag I spent a night on ice & snow in Jan this year to get t family tickets for a show. It was only a small pop-up tent, but the lilo & 3 seasons mummy sleeping bag plus a liner kept me snug as a bug.
> 
> Good luck & don't despair, nothing comes without a struggle & things will get better if you keep working at it.



Thanks, I should be ok kit wise I used to do a lot of mountain walking and Scottish winter back packing, I've got an awesome sleeping bag a gortex bivi bag and very thick foam mattresses from a caravan 

If things get a bit damp I can dry them in work or pop to the laundrette and tumble dry them.


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## maingate (Jun 20, 2013)

With the kit you have, you should be alright. Your biggest problem is getting your head round the new challenges. For some people it is not too hard, for others it is impossible but you seem the sort who will manage OK. 

You must be working if you can reduce your debts and build up a bit of cash. Don't rush away from work .... it is warm indoors and maybe you could wash a few things or even shower. It's always the little things that are a problem. Put a brave face on and you might be surprised how many people will be supportive. Always remember, nobody likes a miserable git. 

Good luck.


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## Holasuki (Jun 20, 2013)

Hi Jenks.

I think it's good plan. I hope you manage to keep on good term's with the ex. I'm not sure how easy it will be with a young'un in those circumstances but hopefully it won't be for too long. If it gets too much being on your own or if it gets too cold later in the year, it might be worth taking a look at the ads in the local paper for a lodger. You may drop on and find someone/where nice to winter at a decent price.

What's the saying? Something like ' in the face of adversity lies the seed of opportunity and awakening'

Anyway, whatever. You'll be right.

Suki x


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## runnach (Jun 20, 2013)

You maybe suprised how many people here are staring down the precipice of a gun like yourself.

Stress of it all makes rational thinking difficult especially if you hit the bottle which I did.

Give it a go if you think you can, remember an old military saying the first casualty will be the plan.

On reflection, the hardest part of what you intend is maintaining standards of appearance and not letting things slip.

I hope this helps, and good luck because you need the breaks too.

Channa


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## Firefox (Jun 20, 2013)

Go for it! Maybe just consider sleeping in the van on the streets or other location some nights. You'll save the campsite fees and save even more money  Could be up to £100 a week.


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## jenks (Jun 20, 2013)

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement, it's given me the oommpphh to make it happen.

I am indeed working and yes the office is warm and has a kitchen, relaxing room with TV and sofa, but most important of all a power shower! That said with the money I save I will easily be able to afford joining a gym, which will keep spirits high, they are great for shower / sauna / jacuzzu, I have hairclippers and have been shaving my head for years (although right now I already look as if I've been wilding for months on end, a white man afro and a scruffy beard)..... I work in IT its expected that I smell and have rubbish hair styles..... In all seriousness I'll just live like a true bachelor... laundry done at laundrette or one of those "drop of a bag of smelly stuff and collect a bag of washed ironed folded clothes for not much money", personal hygiene for myself will be easy to maintain, at gym / work / hot water in a pan etc, for the little one not so easy but hey all kids love a hot paddling pool right? When I was a child we used to go on extended camping holidays at the "basic" sites with a big hole in the corner to empty the loo, I am hoping this will work out much the same, but with decent chemical points, I've got a couple of sites in mind and received a couple of suggestions too, I think between them and trips to south wales once a month (to see the parents) this could be a real opportunity for me to claw my way out of debt and actually do something I love doing and haven't really done properly for the 5 years I've been with the Mrs.

Thankfully everything is very civil between us, we have agreed that we are in each others lives via our child forever so we might as well get on. That's not to say living here right now isn't awkward and soul destroying, and I am sure once she realises how much money I am saving each month she'll want more of my pie... well she can jump for it!


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## Caz (Jun 21, 2013)

Good luck with your plans Jenks. The more you can save on campsite fees over the warmer months then the more you have left for the colder weather when you will need the EHU for heating.


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## whitevanwoman (Jun 21, 2013)

Good luck mate, I'm probably about 3 months behind you going down the same route, slightly different reasons and circumstances, and I know I've got 3 -4 months left in the house probably so I got time on my side, and am busy selling off possessions, getting finances under tight control, practicing living on a shoe string now so that I'm used to it, and I'm now almost beginning to get to the point where I kind of wish it would all happen sooner rather than in a few months time, because I've accepted it and have kind of changed my outlook from being negative and pessimistic and dwelling on my losses, to one of hope and determination, seeing this as an opportunity to finally find out who I am, what makes me tick, what makes me happy etc. I think that has been the turning point for me, just changing the way I see life's "challenges" - not easy to do, mind you, and there's bad moments along the way.

I spent 4 weeks in my van last Sept and that convinced me, that although it wouldn't be easy, I could live in my van full time. But the main thing I feel I need to plan and sort out is some sort of storage base, where I can store winter clothes in the summer, various boxes of paperwork / valuables / sentimental stuff, tools and materials related to employment, DIY/mechanic tools and van equipment, outdoor kit, etc etc. Ideally if I am going to pay for decent dry storage, then I really want to have elec, a tap and a toilet. That would allow me to live out of my van without having to go on camp sites etc. So that's what I'm investigating at the moment. 

The other thing to sort out is a postal address and get as much financial paperwork sorted out beforehand if poss eg pay for a year's car tax, pay insurance upfront for the year if poss (often saving considerable additional credit charges), shop around for cheapest possible mobile and 3G deals, dongles etc, cancel as many direct debits as possible, 

At the moment I'm spending more than 50% of my nights in my van, sometimes parked up at home to save having to put heating on etc, and in the past 3 months, my electricity monthly payment has dropped nearly a tenner, I'm only using 1 bag of coal (my only heating is multifuel stove and back boiler) per month, instead of 3 (saving £30 month if not more), and I'm spending less money on food shopping as it's harder to store and keep fresh so just buying what I need but more frequently, and hardly buying anything other than food and absolute essentials because I know I won't have room in the van for many luxuries. So I'm spending alot less too. So I think you will find that you will save alot of dosh. Just get good at sussing out free shower locations (friends, families, leisure centres, some truckstops etc) and get good at being thrifty, well, not just thrifty, but downright miserly. Go to Morrisons Deli counter half an hour before closing for reduced price cooked chickens and 5 donuts for 25p etc, carry wash kit with you so you can get a quick wash with hot water in the pub where you're meeting friends, check out local cemetary opening times (for fresh water), think about toilet arrangements... porta potti?.... have you got a friend with a sewer cover in their driveway that you could use once a week to empty it etc. What Channa said about it being easy to let standards slip (wear the same socks for 4 days etc) is very true cos everything takes more effort and more time to do in a van, so I think getting a good daily routine going is important. 

I'm quite excited now about the prospect of it. No idea what I'm going to do over the winter months but that's a long way off and I might have a winning lottery ticket by then :banana:

:goodluck:


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## runnach (Jun 21, 2013)

Full timing = Gypsy traveller, and all the suspicion and shyte that attracts.....The amount of organisations that turn their back because you cant offer a permanent address etc.

I made my ends meet working with travelling fairs, it was interesting how all of a sudden one is perceived. I will let Kimbowbill share how I fitted in, as she visited me.

Dont make the mistake to think it is easy, what is taken for granted in the settled community is different when full timing on the road,

In the Ops case here is a thought, if things turn sour, you are homeless,how does that restrict access ? you may have property in Wales but sitting tenants etc...and miles away.

I am just trying to ensure you go into this without the rose tints and eyes are open wide you are going to need to 

Channa


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## Tbear (Jun 21, 2013)

Hi Jenks,

From what I have read here, you will enjoy the challenge of your new life. From my experience of tent camping with young children, get a caravan before the winter.

Richard


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## ellisboy (Jun 21, 2013)

Good luck Jenks! Sounds likea good plan.What area of Hampshire are you ?


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## jenks (Jun 21, 2013)

Whitevanwoman - I wish you all the very best of luck in the world! Sounds to me like you've got more things planned out than I have.

channa - Thankfully I have an address I can use (parents) and the Mrs has agreed that I can continue to use that address for things like car insurance etc

Tbear - I am planning to be in a flat / house by the end of sept / early oct but if not then I will have saved enough money to get a very decent sized caravan (it'll need work a good airing and clean etc, but that's fine).

Ellisboy - I am working just outside Fareham so will try and be based within 20 miles to keep commuting costs down.


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## Smaug (Jun 21, 2013)

This is a good group of people, you have already shared a lot, but please keep us posted, both successes & failures, as we may be able to help & will certainly offer encouragement. Good luck.


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## vindiboy (Jun 21, 2013)

Some of us go to Spain etc over Winter and would be happy to have a van parked in our Gardens whilst away.that could work for you too ?


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## Mad Manx (Jun 22, 2013)

I am about to do the same for different reasons! My house has subsidence so after 3 years of battling the insurance company and engineer have agreed to pull half my house down and rebuild it. I am moving out to my motor home and not paying the 10 k degree of betterment and the insurance don't pay for accommodation costs . Work have said I can use the showers at work and the canteen are going to do plated meals for me . Also a friend is going to do my laundry and others are going to let me couch surf if needed . So I think i have covered all the bases.
But best of luck with your endeavors and i am sure you will make it through to the end and be stronger for it. Also this forum is a great source of help and support


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## Gee (Jun 22, 2013)

Hi Jenks,
Similar story here. Split after 17 years. I need to stay close for the kids. 
We moved here after me being medically discharged from the forces, so don't have any family or real friends close by. I got my debts in order with help from cccs a charity debt councillors recommended through moneysavingexpert. I'm now debt free thanks to them both.
 I'm working so I can support the kids and see them. Once the kids are independent and safely at uni I'm hoping to take a gap year or 5 full time and travel round Europe wintering down south coming back to UK for summer and mot etc. My small war pension should allow this if I'm careful and budget. It won't be for another 5 years at least unless ex moves back to Cornwall to be near her family. I'll go wherever kids go. Ref heating could you not fit a carver gas heater and a refillable lpg cylinder. I've got a spare sb1800 sitting in my shed that i could courier to you if you can cover courier costs about £10. lpg is much cheaper than ehu leccy. Let me know if required. Hope this helps.


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## jenks (Jun 22, 2013)

Gee said:


> Hi Jenks,
> Similar story here. Split after 17 years. I need to stay close for the kids.
> We moved here after me being medically discharged from the forces, so don't have any family or real friends close by. I got my debts in order with help from cccs a charity debt councillors recommended through moneysavingexpert. I'm now debt free thanks to them both.
> I'm working so I can support the kids and see them. Once the kids are independent and safely at uni I'm hoping to take a gap year or 5 full time and travel round Europe wintering down south coming back to UK for summer and mot etc. My small war pension should allow this if I'm careful and budget. It won't be for another 5 years at least unless ex moves back to Cornwall to be near her family. I'll go wherever kids go. Ref heating could you not fit a carver gas heater and a refillable lpg cylinder. I've got a spare sb1800 sitting in my shed that i could courier to you if you can cover courier costs about £10. lpg is much cheaper than ehu leccy. Let me know if required. Hope this helps.



I would love a gas heater in the landy but the space is very very limited, I have a very small heater from my Granddads old caravan but I never found a suitable location that I'd trust to be safe. I do have an Eberspacher diesel heater, but I need a new control unit for it - might try and sort that by winter.

My biggest problem in terms of heat is when my Son stays with me I'll be in a tent for the warmth, small canvas frame tent or an ex army 9x9 with added ground sheets and inner tent, I think electric is the safest with the little one about in a tent.

Once again thanks to everyone for kind words of support.


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## n brown (Jun 22, 2013)

get a decent sleeping bag, I have slept out ,don't like calling it 'slept rough' as it's not that big a deal, hundreds of times ,in the worst of winter under shelter where poss but often in the open. a good bag keeps you snug through it all . we're all a LOT hardier than we think !


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## oldish hippy (Jun 22, 2013)

been there my thought go out toy ou in same suitation except i have somewhere to live


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## maingate (Jun 22, 2013)

n brown said:


> get a decent sleeping bag, I have slept out ,don't like calling it 'slept rough' as it's not that big a deal, hundreds of times ,in the worst of winter under shelter where poss but often in the open. a good bag keeps you snug through it all . we're all a LOT hardier than we think !



Same here. I had an ex Army sleeping bag (as issued to Marines for Winter use) which was a cracking bit of kit. That and a sheet of plastic. Woke up with a hard frost on me a few times. Once woke up after light snowfall with a crowd of curious kids round me. Apparently I had picked a school playing field to doss in. :lol-049:


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## Mad Manx (Jun 23, 2013)

I have a winter and a summer carp fishermen a sleeping bags that fit my us arm beds they are waterproof and the warmest bags I've ever had and they were cheap of eBay


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## jenks (Jun 23, 2013)

I've got a Snugpack 4 season sleeping bag and ex army gortex bivi bag. Fine for me, especially in the landy, the little one however....... hence I'll need heating of some sort for the tent.


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## MyLifeTraveling (Jun 23, 2013)

Hello Mad Manx,

Can l give you what l learnt as a small piece of encouragement that everything will be OK please?

At the heart of it - you're doing the right thing - your children come first and you want to be there near them and for them. So please don't ever under-estimate what that means for your character and for the children's short and long term emotionally stability.

Yes, l agree with you and your uncertainty about the short term future of your housing needs. But one of the hardest lessons / things to learn in life is; to ask for help... you will be absolutely amazed about the unselfish generosity of people. 

The situation today doesn't mean it will be the same situation in 2 or even 6 months time.. today it feels scary and full of risk and uncertainty.. however once you get the lay of the land and settle into a pattern; life in the van, will start to feel very normal to you and also to your son.

My life changed forever 12 years ago, then another 3 years l moved out of my comfortable home in Australia. I sold the house, my children had grown up and l took the biggest risk l'd ever taken.. I got off the Island!!!!

And truly l've never looked back!

But what l learnt is that l have the skills to over-come most of the daily challenges in life. And if l don't know the answers to the questions.. then eventually l ask someone for help.

Keep faith in yourself, my wild camper friend.. and you will me amazed in what you will accomplish in the next few months!!!

all the best,
MyLifeTraveling
aka Anthea


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## Deleted member 20892 (Jun 23, 2013)

You may even enjoy the life style so much, you may not want to go back to bricks and motar.!

Seriously mate, good luck, i've no advice to give except take each day at a time, and make it an adventure for your kids when they visit you.!

jt


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## Bigpeetee (Jun 23, 2013)

You've got a Landy, why not swap for a Van, something you can sleep in and convert?

When I worked in London, I lived in the countryside and commuted in. Lived in a 12ft caravan and was as warm as a bug.

A large flask filled with hot water in work helps make life better. 

A lot of the CL/CS have long term residents and usually have agreed a sensible rate.


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## landyrubbertramp (Jun 23, 2013)

Bigpeetee said:


> You've got a Landy, why not swap for a Van, something you can sleep in and convert?
> 
> When I worked in London, I lived in the countryside and commuted in. Lived in a 12ft caravan and was as warm as a bug.
> 
> ...



swap his landy ???? r u mad lol just kidding


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## jenks (Jun 23, 2013)

Thanks guys. Sorry but the landy is here to stay! I know it would make sense as I'd get a fair lump for it which would actually clear some debts and allow me the spare cash for deposit fees rent etc.... I just can't bring myself to sell it, I've dreamt of owning a landy since I was a small child, I got it for my 30 birthday as a treat to myself. It keeps my soul in balance  Not to mention when my life is in order and I have the spare time and cash I love to offroad, and I love Scottish winters, there's no other vehicle I'll ever trust in the wilds and snow than my landy.


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## runnach (Jun 24, 2013)

MyLifeTraveling said:


> And if l don't know the answers to the questions.. then eventually l ask someone for help.
> 
> /QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## jenks (Jul 1, 2013)

What a crazy ten days. Most of my stuff is out of the house and into storage. I've taken the plunge and left tonight, I am now snuggled in bed in the landy, I've got more stuff with me than I'll ever need so might put more into storage.

I've decided to call myself houseless rather than homeless, after all home is where the heart is and its very much in this landy.

Missing the little one already, but I am trying to remember tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life!


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## carol (Jul 1, 2013)

channa said:


> MyLifeTraveling said:
> 
> 
> > And if l don't know the answers to the questions.. then eventually l ask someone for help.
> ...


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## Sand55 (Jul 1, 2013)

Just want to wish you all the best.
It sounds like you know what you are doing.
Emotions will come and go, I dare say. Always remember that when you feel down ( if ), You may feel better after a nights sleep.


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## landyrubbertramp (Jul 2, 2013)

How's progress on living in the landy ?


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## jenks (Jul 2, 2013)

landyrubbertramp said:


> How's progress on living in the landy ?



In true landy fashion the rear door check strap has sheared off and the rear door has dropped to an odd angle so can't be closed from inside. The spare wheel carrier has sheared it's internal strengthener and dropped against the skin further buckling the door..... Thankfully I have a spare door in storage, will fit that in the next day or two, then the spare will have to be inside with me until I get a swing away wheel carrier or strong roof rack.

I've had an awesome spot for the last two nights will use it for the rest of this week. Need to ditch the child seat into storage ASAP, royal PITA climbing into the back from the front with it in there.


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## Smaug (Jul 2, 2013)

Just a little tip for when stressed at night - write down any issues that are bothering you so you can stop trying to solve them in your sleep. They'll still be there in the morning, but you will be better able to deal with them. Keep the pad & pen handy in case you wake in the night with "ideas" & capture them for the morning, or you will be lying there trying to workout all the details. 

Sleep is important & you are far less able to deal with stuff when tired.


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## sasquatch (Jul 2, 2013)

My first camper was home built on a LR 88",based on the Searle Safari, my late father was a boat builder and helped me.However his cabinet work was superb,but built for a boat with brass fittings,beautiful but heavy! If the Met men(and women) are to be believed it will start to get really hot towards the end of the week.


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## jenks (Jul 17, 2013)

Well half way through week 3 and so far so good! A few small "Doh!" moments and some simple lessons:

Less is definately more - too much stuff means you can't get at what you have / need easily and generally end up making do without.
Ex army cool box with freezer packs (swapped over in work) will actually keep meat frozen for two days 
The distance from the top of my bed to the roof is exactly the same as the length of my lower leg and so my knee's have taken a battering rolling over in bed.
The slightest bang clatter or car door opening within a hundred mile radius at 3am results in waking up and "sh*tting ones self".
Parking on the ever so slightest of not level ground in the wrong direction makes it impossible to stay in bed without slipping off the edge...
For my birthday everyone bought me alcohol - time to find a campsite so I can enjoy it!
In this heat refelctive screen covers are a must but inside temp still reaches mid 30's by about 8:30am
Not being able to stand up to put trousers on is really a PITA of monumental status!
For extreme hayfever sufferers this time of year is awful - sleep with window open and sneeze all night - close window and it gets too hot...
Curtains that are not easy to open and close / deploy are ok for the first week but mighty tiresome by the end of week 2 and are likely to get ripped out!
Sleeping without curtains is not possible this time of year....
This heat and a portable toillet is not fun do not breath in when opening the flap!
Driving like a maniac to keep up with commuter traffic / being late for work results in everything "looking burgled" in the back!

Dodgy scummers are everywhere.... I left my rear curtains open and popped into a shop for a few mins (everything locked but box of kitchen stuff / food on view and a small rucksack) when I came out two blokes were stood right next to my Landy and when I walked towards them they took a big step away and turned their backs, I thought they looked dodgy but thought nothing more until later on when I tried to unlock the rear door I noticed the little chrome flappy bit was damaged..... they had clearly tried to open the rear door  This has been the biggest lesson, need to black out the windows, closed curtains draw attention, open curtains draw even more attention!


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## n brown (Jul 17, 2013)

great learning curve eh? maybe you should flog it and get a van you can stand up in and move about a bit ! even an old tranny swb will do,fitting out isn't necessary and glued carpet will stop condensation


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## Beemer (Jul 17, 2013)

jenks said:


> Dodgy scummers are everywhere.... I left my rear curtains open and popped into a shop for a few mins (everything locked but box of kitchen stuff / food on view and a small rucksack) when I came out two blokes were stood right next to my Landy and when I walked towards them they took a big step away and turned their backs, I thought they looked dodgy but thought nothing more until later on when I tried to unlock the rear door I noticed the little chrome flappy bit was damaged..... they had clearly tried to open the rear door  This has been the biggest lesson, need to black out the windows, closed curtains draw attention, open curtains draw even more attention!



I used to have a VW T4 Caravelle ( a bit like a posh minibus), I used it to go to work, as a builder.  I like my own tools, and the back of the van was full of them, I had windows all round the van, and I used very dark window tint to hide prying eyes.  When I partially converted the van, I still fitted curtains, but you could not tell if the there were any from the outside.
My garage got broke into one night, whilst my van was parked in front of it, some tools were stolen from the garage, but my van was not touched (where all my good tools were stored)...


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## geebus (Jul 17, 2013)

In an IT company I used to work for, a new employee did similar to afford a deposit (he did have a couple of year old Lexus) - think he found a farm that was ok with him setting a tent up.  This was in October too, but he got lots of hanging curtains etc.

If you keep an eye on freecycle or ask, often can get a free caravan.  If not, they go on ebay from a couple of hundred quid.  Choose carefully and there's some good deals to be had with a lot of stuff still working.
Suspect that as time goes on this will be a much more 'comfortable' existence, especially if you can find somewhere cheap to park it that you can get water/electricity too.


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## jenks (Jul 26, 2013)

Another update......

A week on Sunday my Dad returns from a European trip in his motorhome, which he has lovingling offered me for a month or two providing I can find a site for it.... so as of next weekend I'll be upgrading from the Landy to a Winnebago Cheiftan! GET IN! :banana:

Down side is I can't drive it (too heavy for my license) and I can only find one site that is cheap enough and they can only allow me to stay for 1 month.... 

I am sooooo looking forward to being able to stand up to put my trousers on and to having a fridge  A real double bed will be luxary too, the canopy to get out of the sun but not be inside!

Of course the icing on the cake will be having my Son to stay over with me  He loves the landy and I am fairly sure he'll love the Cheiftan and living in a field on a working farm.


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## QFour (Jul 26, 2013)

jenks said:


> Another update......
> 
> Down side is I can't drive it (too heavy for my license) and I can only find one site that is cheap enough and they can only allow me to stay for 1 month....



Don't forget you cannot stay on a camp site for more than 28 days but you can leave for a couple of nights and then go back again and just keep repeating it. I thought of you when I saw the guy at Huftoft he has been living in his car for 3 years. It does not look very comfortable. Did notice him on the sand dunes admiring the scenery because the toilet block was locked.

Enjoy the luxury .....


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## Deleted member 20892 (Jul 26, 2013)

User1 said:


> Don't forget you cannot stay on a camp site for more than 28 days but you can leave for a couple of nights and then go back again and just keep repeating it. I thought of you when I saw the guy at Huftoft he has been living in his car for 3 years. It does not look very comfortable. Did notice him on the sand dunes admiring the scenery because the toilet block was locked.
> 
> Enjoy the luxury .....



He's a 1 of the reason's why Huttoft will have height barrier's on soon, also, from what i have been told, he has a flat near by but doesn't use it.!

jt


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## voyagerstan (Jul 26, 2013)

height barriers will not stop him with a car . good luck to you mate . not had your problems almost a afew times when i was younger . im sure it will make you a stronger person . it also puts things into pres[ective and makes you realise whats important in life  :welcome::goodluck:  stan


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## landyrubbertramp (Jul 26, 2013)

Your right about height barriers . Improvise the USO of the romahomes on eBay r they can get under a height barrier . Infant they have a pic of them next to one . I did feel sorry for a lady in a tip spec range river last week when out for a run I heard a screech looked across to see that her car was a fraction too high and it scrapped the whole length of thee roof alot of damage . I though it goes to show these restrictions have an impact on all same as last week at the great orme by the parking restrictions nearly half the vehicles should have had a ticket as they weight more than 1.5 tonne but of course they don't enforce that on a middle class family in a BMW they will save that rule for sumo e like jerks in his Landrover .


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## bob72 (Jul 27, 2013)

When we got back from Europe I got a new contract in London so I lived in the van Monday to Friday from Feb on the side of the road near the office then travelled back to south wales on the weekend.  It was cold even with my propex and sleeping bag and duvet.

Did this till a campsite opened in march then started staying there.  Not really needed now - no worries about keeping my batteries charged to run the heater but I found that I actually really quite like staying on that site.

Unfortunately next week will be my last week as I'm moving into a bedsit in preparation for the winter (too good a deal) as I don't think I could really ,damage side of the road from Oct to March without a warmer van.

Feeling quite sad about giving it up!


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## Mad Manx (Sep 25, 2013)

Time we had another update from jenks
In the meantime I am 3 months in to 6 months full timeing in my race truck with only a few problems like Jenks it gets bl##dy hot up to 40 degrees and I've had trouble with water getting into sleeping area keep trying to fix it but not beeten it properly yet.
Parking up nots been a problem but I have a friendly farmer with an ex WW2 air base


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## jenks (Sep 26, 2013)

Well here comes the update.........

I lived in the landy from 30th June until 4th August overall I think other than missing my son it's been the happiest I have been in years! From 4th August until the 21st I was using my Dad's Winnebago chieftain on a local campsite, pretty horrible time if I am being honest. Too far out of town to be convenient, keeping charge in the batteries was almost impossible (no EHU), the sewage tank was an absolute nightmare to empty... (with a bucket and long walk of shame). Spent many nights with no power and nothing to do in a very dark field... I'd love to holiday in it with EHU or long drives each day to charge the batteries, but without it was a pointless luxury item that didn't work. My son loved staying over in it, especially when he could get in the drivers seat!

On the night of 22nd August I received a call from the ex's mother saying no-one had heard from her for two days. I had collected my son from his aunties on the Wednesday afternoon and then dropped him to his Gran's on the Thursday morning expecting the ex to collect him Thursday eve. Well she didn't collect him which instigated the call. I'd decided I wanted to swap from the landrover to the car (which was at the ex's house) so I volunteered to pop round to see what was up and why she wasn't answering her phone. As there had already been confusion between us if I was having my son on the Thursday night too didn't think much of it.

After a few phone calls and hammering hell out of the front door and window I got no answer her and my car was there, so thought I would jump over the back wall incase she was in the garden or asleep on the sofa etc.... Biggest shock of my life, I climbed onto the wall and jumped into the garden, as soon as I stood up I could see her on the sofa. I knew straight away she was gone, called the police and ambulance and they took over. I was ushered away from the property, this left me the job of heading over to her parents house to tell them what had happened. From that night I have taken on full parental responsibility for my son. We staid with the ex's parents for a couple of weeks, but it was getting too much, too many memories, too many photo's. I wanted nothing more than to be back in my landrover eating steak and watching the sun setting, I couldn't I have my son and social services were all over us and making all kind of unthinkable suggestions. On the 9th of September I had to do the most horrific thing a Dad could ever do. Hold my baby Son through his Mothers funeral, he danced to the music and bashed on the coffin with his fist and nodded saying "yeah yeah yeah" this was his way of telling me it had been built properly and was good to go! (I get him to do that to anything I make to make sure it's good LOL!). 

We are now staying with friends they have kindly allowed my Son to have a room all to himself and he loves being there. In the daytime he's with the ex's Mother and at night / weekends with me, at our friends house. Social services have signed off the case. My flat in Wales is on the market. As soon as we can we will be heading to a place of our own. A home for me and my Son. A base to which adventures and wild camping will head from and return to, it's going to be hard, it's going to be dark, it's going to be a struggle, but I've made a promise to myself life will have fun times, it will have crazy adventure, it will be awesome and most importantly of all my Son will grow up knowing what an amazing women his mother was.

RIP! Rhianna taken too young at 28!


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## daisymini (Sep 26, 2013)

What a sad sad state of affairs, my heart goes out to you and your little boy, Life can be very cruel sometimes.  Cherish what you have and make the best of what youve got.....:sad:


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## landyrubbertramp (Sep 26, 2013)

you have a grown man with tears here jenks


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## jenks (Sep 26, 2013)

landyrubbertramp said:


> you have a grown man with tears here jenks



Big man hugs from one Landy mentalist to another! :cheers:


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## Deleted member 21686 (Sep 26, 2013)

From one jenks to another, i'm sad to hear your story and wish you all the luck in the future.
If you get a chance to come to one of our meets i'm sure the members would love to meet you.


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## stonedaddy (Sep 26, 2013)

*Sad*

:sad: Goodness Jenks, I did not think anything would effect me anymore, but your story as actually blown my armour plating away and I am actually sobbing real tears  . I am so sorry it ended this way but this is the start of the rest of your life and your son's. Like has been said before do try to get to a meeting or too and have a few beers with us. All the very best for the future.
.... Tom ....


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## 666jw (Sep 26, 2013)

Ditto, stay strong friend. 28 is no way to go. That poor boy... its heartbreaking. Gutted for both of you !


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## Philcott (Sep 26, 2013)

My sympathies are with you and wish both you and your son well. What a horrible time for you. Stay strong and know that the sun will shine through soon. Thoughts and prayers go with you both.


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## mattdawe (Sep 26, 2013)

*Lost for Words*

Well i dont post much but have read your thread a few times now as it popped up and i have almost been in the same place leaving the home etc and into a van  and forums are a good source of inspiration and encouragement. So as i saw the post again i read it from the beginning as you do visualizing everything like reading a book really thinking that at the end of reading this im going to have to put a reply saying that i am only in Aldershot hampshire myself and if you need anything to help out let me know water, electric for the night or even somewhre to fix somthing with a little bit of help as im a sparky by trade but very handy when it comes to mechanics as well. 

so to then read you latest up date hit me quite hard i then sat here wondering what to put now if anything and is it still appropriate...Then i thought you may need that help more than ever before so yes its the right thing to post so i know you have accommodation sorted now but an offer of help is still there if you need it - Mechanical- Electrical or any other if i can just ask, Remember if you dont ask then you dont get so dont be afraid to ask.

I hope all works out for you and you get sorted sorry for you'r & you'r Sons loss all the best - Matt


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## herecomesbod (Sep 26, 2013)

such a shocking thing to read, i cant begin to understand how you must be feeling. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your son at this blummin awful time. hoping that things start to improve and continue to do so xxx


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## dysdera (Sep 26, 2013)

I have also just sat and read this whole thread, and realised we live in the next town from you ( Gosport) , small world eh!. Well hope it all works out for you and lots of luck for the future....gonna keep a eye out for that landy now.


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## Deleted member 21686 (Sep 26, 2013)

mattdawe said:


> Well i dont post much but have read your thread a few times now as it popped up and i have almost been in the same place leaving the home etc and into a van  and forums are a good source of inspiration and encouragement. So as i saw the post again i read it from the beginning as you do visualizing everything like reading a book really thinking that at the end of reading this im going to have to put a reply saying that i am only in Aldershot hampshire myself and if you need anything to help out let me know water, electric for the night or even somewhre to fix somthing with a little bit of help as im a sparky by trade but very handy when it comes to mechanics as well.
> 
> so to then read you latest up date hit me quite hard i then sat here wondering what to put now if anything and is it still appropriate...Then i thought you may need that help more than ever before so yes its the right thing to post so i know you have accommodation sorted now but an offer of help is still there if you need it - Mechanical- Electrical or any other if i can just ask, Remember if you dont ask then you dont get so dont be afraid to ask.
> 
> I hope all works out for you and you get sorted sorry for you'r & you'r Sons loss all the best - Matt



Don't you just love this forum, it's full very nice people, good on you Matt.


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## Deleted member 21686 (Sep 26, 2013)

stonedaddy said:


> :sad: Goodness Jenks, I did not think anything would effect me anymore, but your story as actually blown my armour plating away and I am actually sobbing real tears  . I am so sorry it ended this way but this is the start of the rest of your life and your son's. Like has been said before do try to get to a meeting or too and have a few beers with us. All the very best for the future.
> .... Tom ....



Tom you're a special guy.


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## Smaug (Sep 26, 2013)

We all have tough times, but that is something else. Well done for providing your son with a solid base to build on & for letting him keep in touch with his grandparents, they will need him to help them deal with the loss of their daughter. 

Take your time, in due course you will find a helpmate that will help you carry the load when it gets hard & double the fun you have. Good luck, you are owed some.


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## homealoner (Sep 26, 2013)

Just want to say sorry for your sad loss, and also say that there are lots of people on this site who are always willing to listen and chat no matter what your problem, or time of day. This I have found out first hand. And I quote again time is a true healer and you will have good times again,and goodness knows you truly deserve it.good luck and take care both you and your son. Xx


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## montyalgarve (Sep 27, 2013)

My heart goes out to you both and i know what you are going through, 15 years ago i lost my 35 year old wife leaving me with our son, with help from friends and family we came through,        (Big Man Hug)


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## Penny13 (Sep 27, 2013)

Hugs


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## mariesnowgoose (Sep 27, 2013)

First time I've looked at this thread 

Devastating! 

Everybody on here is behind you willing you through dark times.

Just remember - offers of help made on here are genuine, for helping out with your real life in the real world and not just a few nice words on the page.
That's what makes this forum special.

Wishing you all the good luck from now on, and here's to things turning round for you and your wee son as soon as possible. :heart: xx


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## jenks (Sep 27, 2013)

[No message]


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## jennyp19 (Sep 27, 2013)

I've been following your thread since you first posted.  I think everyone has said it all - you have had a lot to contend with, but hopefullythe worst is over & now the only way is up.:goodluck:  Hopefully we will meet up with you and your son at a meet next year.


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## sasquatch (Sep 27, 2013)

I read this thread and found it very sad and disturbing mainly for the fact that Social Services were poking around. Was your ex known to them? Beware that they may start to look for a stable home for your lad,despite what he may say about being with you,they may start looking towards your in-laws or own parents.
I don't want to frighten you but please be prepared for their interrogations. In my experience I have found that Children and Family Social workers don't live in a real world,and some of them don't even have kids of their own. I hope that with financial cuts in local authority finances your care will be the cheaper option for them,but be prepared for their constant interference.
I wish you all the good fortune,you have had a rough time but now it looks as you are turning a corner.


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## jenks (Sep 27, 2013)

sasquatch said:


> I read this thread and found it very sad and disturbing mainly for the fact that Social Services were poking around. Was your ex known to them? Beware that they may start to look for a stable home for your lad,despite what he may say about being with you,they may start looking towards your in-laws or own parents.
> I don't want to frighten you but please be prepared for their interrogations. In my experience I have found that Children and Family Social workers don't live in a real world,and some of them don't even have kids of their own. I hope that with financial cuts in local authority finances your care will be the cheaper option for them,but be prepared for their constant interference.
> I wish you all the good fortune,you have had a rough time but now it looks as you are turning a corner.



Thanks, Sasquatch, don't worry. It was a double referral, we were known to them during the pregnancy due to my ex's mental health and hospital admissions. They were all over us once my son was born. They were starting to be involved with my ex's care the day before she died (they were probably the last people to see her alive). It is standard practice for Child Protection Services to be involved in the event of a parent passing. The case has been under strict scrutiny from the moment my ex passed, and was being observed by the director of social services... 

Mind you that hasn't stopped all kinds of errors. They only recently obtained all my details to run a full "agency check" etc etc.... they haven't been to see where I am now staying, they have checked one of my friends at the house to the point of finding out employment CRB enhanced checks already done etc etc (school teacher) as for other house mate they still don't know her surname or who she is etc.... However even with such a cluster (insert rude word starting with F) of a report on the case, full of spelling mistakes (including the names of the hospitals) and peoples names the case has been cleared and they declare that no further intervention is required.

Which to be honest I am rather pleased about! It's a giant tick box exercise that in my opinion is a complete waste of time...... but I'll play their games and listen to their advice etc, but if they interfere again and I believe it to be against mine or my son's best interests they'll see me in court as I'll take them there myself for their gross incompetence across the case / report! Which you'd think as it's under scrutiny and gone to the director they'd get all the details bang on! Of the two copies they sent me of the report one wasn't even page ordered correctly so reading it made no sense! It's the simple things like this that make me very very weary of them!


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## Deleted member 37170 (Sep 27, 2013)

Don't know whether it's a bit late now because I have only just read the posts and heard of your plight. My heart goes out to you and If you are still looking for an Eberspacher control unit, I have one of the weekly timer ones that you can have free and gratis if you can PM an address where  I can send it to you. It is a new and working one.


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## jenks (Sep 27, 2013)

Bopper said:


> Don't know whether it's a bit late now because I have only just read the posts and heard of your plight. My heart goes out to you and If you are still looking for an Eberspacher control unit, I have one of the weekly timer ones that you can have free and gratis if you can PM an address where  I can send it to you. It is a new and working one.



Thanks for the offer Bopper, my timer unit is fine it's the ever elusive ECU that I need, generally they are like hens teeth to get hold of. I am probably going to make my own when I find the time.....


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## Deleted member 37170 (Sep 27, 2013)

Ok Mate no probs. My ECU is faulty and I gave up on it after buying the timer.


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## vwalan (Sep 27, 2013)

hi hope things get better for you. as every one as said it must have been rough for you . 
ask if you need anything . life can be hard on us sometimes . cheers .


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## tadpole58 (Sep 27, 2013)

I've come late to this heartbreaking thread but would wish to add my condolences and say thank goodness your little boy has you there for him. I'm sorry to hear about the rather shoddy way children's social care seem to have dealt with you. I've been a qualified social worker working in child protection for 30 years now and am deeply saddened to hear about your experience. Having said that you won't be surprised to hear that I don't agree with sasquatch's view. They are there to try and ensure that things work out in your boy's best interests however much it may feel like unwanted interference at times. It doesn't help when silly mistakes are made in reports. As somebody who knows how they ought to be going about things and how the system works, I would be very happy to help if you want to message me for advice at any point.


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## Smaug (Sep 27, 2013)

Don't worry about telling him. 

When he asks, you will know what to say. If you are giving him a hug & the truth, he will know you care & he won't need the details. Just make sure he understands that no-one could have changed it & no-one is to blame.


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## kimbowbill (Sep 28, 2013)

MORGANTHEMOON said:


> From one jenks to another, i'm sad to hear your story and wish you all the luck in the future.
> If you get a chance to come to one of our meets i'm sure the members would love to meet you.



here here Moon,

so sad to hear this news, my heart goes out to you Jenks, as Moon said, please come to one of our meets, everyone is so friendly and kind, 

Good luck for the future Jenks xx


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## whitevanwoman (Sep 28, 2013)

Hi Jenks

Your positivity and courage is inspiring, and although what has happened is tragic, I think that in years to come the bond that you already have with your son and which will become so much stronger becuase of this, is going to be awesome and will bring you both much joy.

I'm very glad that your ex managed to get her book published and if you post details, I'd be very glad to buy it and read it, knowing that in some small way, the royalties will help you both, and that tragic as it is, anything that raises awareness of the terrible symptoms of severe long term depression will help others to understand what is a very lonely and destructive illness. 

I wish you all the best and although you probably don't want or need advice from other people (especially strangers) I would say that you should be kind to yourself and remember that although you are a super dad, you are not super human and that there is no shame in reaching out and asking for or accepting help. 

<<hugs>> to you both from me.


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## Deleted member 22727 (Sep 28, 2013)

Good luck.Keep the landy.Google,Best bug out vehacle.You will find it's a landrover.


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## Mad Manx (Sep 29, 2013)

Wow that’s not what I expected when I posted my update and saying it’s time we had an update for you Jenks.
It makes my brief but longer full timing experience pail into insignificance!

You have also made a hardened Land Rover driving Ambulance Man breakout in waves of tears.

I wish you and your son all the very best for the future and believe with the help of your good friends and possibly using the offer of help from members of this forum I think things  will continue to get better.

I come down to Hampshire quite a lot and have some handy friends and contacts {in low and high places } in the area of Bishops Waltham / stokesbay. So if you get stuck PM me and I’ll see if I can help even if it’s just for someone impartial to bounce problems and ideas off. 
Failing that it would be good to catch up for a pint some time and compare notes.


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## Rodeo (Sep 29, 2013)

Well,as a newbie to the site,please allow me to sympathise. What a story this thread has been,I was welling up reading it!(and truthfully,the actual reason I signed up to this site,cos it wouldnt allow me to read the rest of the posts in the thread as a guest!) I wish you all the best in your life and endeavours mate.


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## GinaRon (Sep 29, 2013)

I also read the first post and was wondering what had happened.  Never dreamt what actually happened could happen, I feel for you and your son but love is the strongest bond there is and makes everything possible.  Good luck for the future for both of you.  Unfortunately we live too far away to be of any practical use but I do send good and best wishes.


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## jenks (Sep 30, 2013)

Thanks everyone it's such a boost to read your replies and well wishes.

Another weekend down another update. Saturday started with a lay in until 9:30am (Thanks housemates for pitching in!) Headed over to the house for 10am and met a family friend who was my slave for the day. I worked us both hard from 10am until 4pm without stopping for much more than a glass of pop. Shed moved, bulky furniture moved and three landy loads and one trailer load later the house was nearing empty.

I spent most of Saturday evening slumped in a heap sobbing to myself, my son carried on playing as normal in front on me and every now and then came over gave me a hug and rubbed my back. Again my flatmates looked after me, with pizza and a hug. Sunday I had to go it alone at the house and managed to empty the rest of the stuff from the house and move the fishtank to my Son's grandparents. All done, last night I closed the front door behind me. Unless the landlord wants the nursery re-painted I never need to go back in and it's like a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I need to remove some junk from the front garden but that can wait a day or two. 

I am now physically and mentally done in, I will be relying on my housemates to keep my son and I fed and watered, and hugged when we need it. 

Time to relax...........


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## herbenny (Sep 30, 2013)

Jenks ...I just read this from start to finish.

So sorry for your loss to you and your son..a truly devastating story that had me in tears. 

I hope life treats you well from now on and you can build some wonderful memories with your little boy. You will know all the right things to say when the time comes.

I wish you both good health and happiness for your future xx


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## jenks (Oct 8, 2013)

Another week has passed. Handed the keys back to the landlord at the weekend for her house. Almost as hard as the day I found her. I guess it's the end of a chapter and start of a new life. I am moving into a rented house with my new partner at the end of the month. I finally feel like I have landed on my feet. Best news is the new place has enough space in the back garden for my tent! I will be wildcamping every now and then in the garden with my Son / whenever family come to stay. Memories will be made and fun times will be had 

Social services have reared their heads again, apparently the case has been referred to another team within the child protection service, I wonder where this will go and what challenges will come with it. I will find out next week after their house visit!


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## Smaug (Oct 8, 2013)

Take good care, Jenks. And take it gently with your new partner. 

Soc Ser are bound to be checking tings out, just smile & be friendly & helpful. They don't have the resources to chase anything but the most urgent cases & with sensible behaviour you will soon drop off their radar. Check with them to make sure you are getting all the help & benefits you are entitled to, it can make all the difference.

I like the idea of garden camping, our kids loved it - but they have their own kids now.


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## Aikidoamigo (Oct 8, 2013)

Good luck mate, sounds like you need it.


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## Mad Manx (Oct 9, 2013)

Brilliant news things seem to be on the up.
My update is 
That due to the weather and the builder finding terminal dry rot I will properly still in my camper in January not what I planned. 
If its true he promises to buy me a jumper for Christmas !


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## isle of skye (Oct 10, 2013)

*baby comes top of list.......*

Two years ago my son went through the same with six month old, luckily he came home and we help, the thing is you will want to have child and you need somewhere warm and comfy, so just a thought and one we looked into, check out local sites that let just for the winter, an old warm caravan may provide you with at least somewhere to be when it wet and cold and baby will be fine, even look upon it as an adventure, you know how kids are and with a pair of wellies and a warm van to come back into this may be a better option. Don't know what prices you may pay but it is end of season and I do know places do let. Also xmas not to far away at least you can put up a tree and enjoy your baby warm and dry even if it is with a ready meal. P.S. you can also have a tv for cbbs and you both can snuggle up and watch. Good luck whatever you do and even if your family not close remember I am sure they would help if possible.


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