Dear Rubbertramp

Hi Guys ive just caught up with this thred,,,,, Where is Rubbertramp???????? i liked him i thought he injected some good humour into this site & brightened things up!!!!!!!!! its made me think strongly about what i post humour wise in the future ie what to write as not to offend anyone in anyway,, in what context ect ect,,,,, do i joke in an adult way to adults in my usual way that adults only will understand?????????? beacause thats all ive ever done in my posts,,,,or now just be boring and not evan mention Poo:):):) bit miffed now,,, come back Rubbertramp PLEASE:):):):):):):):)

Mothman,,
 
Dear Aunty RT My Ex wife keeps turning up 4 times now in the 4 years since I got rid of her.
Again yeasterday the farmer was plowing the field behind my house and I recognised bits of clothing that were being turned up by the plough. What can I do as this is worrying?
 
Phil said:
Posts have been deleted and members have been banned and others warned.

I cannot please everyone all the time, but I try.
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Seems like I have been banned as well because my mate Harry the farmer's problems down on the farm got swept off the site as well!!!!
 
Hi Bopper i must of missed your post on that,,, what was that post about then?? why would it have been removed???

Mothman,,
 
Or maybe Phil has removed Rubbertramp from the site. If not, does anyone in WC live near him. please pop in and see if he is okay. Perhaps he is lying on his sofa p....d out of his head wondering why he took on the job of advising us Nutters on how to retreive our sanity.
 
David & Ann said:
Or maybe Phil has removed Rubbertramp from the site. If not, does anyone in WC live near him. please pop in and see if he is okay. Perhaps he is lying on his sofa p....d out of his head wondering why he took on the job of advising us Nutters on how to retreive our sanity.
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He will be working but you can get a live audiance with him at The Stones this week end so I hear:lol-053:
 
Rubbertramp said:
Dear Bopper
Rubbertramp is on holiday citing stress as a reason.....He keeps commenting on how dark it is outside and moonbeams and how his brain hurts a lot.
Between you and me I think he is having a bit of a sulk as someone in the office told him off for sneaking a look at an Ann Summers catalogue,
I have forwarded your farming related problem to;

Mr Brian Aldridge
Home Farm
Ambridge
Borcetshire
BL51 HTT

Yours
O. Winfrey (Mrs)
Secretary
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I've told you before RT, Stop listening to the voices. They are meant for me not you.:banana::mad1:
 
Mothman said:
Hi Bopper i must of missed your post on that,,, what was that post about then?? why would it have been removed???

Mothman,,
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It was part two of Harry the farmers troubles. Don't know why it was taken off but he's gone off somewhere, something about sheep.
 
Hi ok shame it was removed i would of liked to of read that, cheers

Mothman,

bopper said:
It was part two of Harry the farmers troubles. Don't know why it was taken off but he's gone off somewhere, something about sheep.
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kimbowbill said:
RT is fine, he will be around later xx
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WHEN?? I am missing him dreadfully, and can feel all sorts of problems coming on!! Last Sunday was wonderful, I haven't laughed so much for ages!! PLEEEASE, Rubbertramp come back, we miss you!!

KP x xx
 
kernowprickles said:
WHEN?? I am missing him dreadfully, and can feel all sorts of problems coming on!! Last Sunday was wonderful, I haven't laughed so much for ages!! PLEEEASE, Rubbertramp come back, we miss you!!

KP x xx
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Yes Rt She deffo has problems, young Hunky style blokes distracting her attention.

It concerns me, Next thing total diregard to a good bacon butty and cup of tea simply due to distraction.

Btw I dont feel the situation has become grave enough Rt for me to post semi clad enough to make em all run ..The American fellas too ....But KP is in need of help.

And if we dont help our own who wil

Love Channa
 
channa said:
I hope you have recovered from your stress problem, I suspect dealing with the collective issues of miscreants here can provide a challenge.

But before you retire, I hope you can assist me as it seems I have a deep rooted problem and I dont know who to turn to.

You see my camper is infested with young ladies, I have a little Aussie minx by the name of Keelee ? no Kylie Minogue thats is pestering all the time.

I showered this morning because it is the last day of the month....Pulled back the curtain and there was Shirley Bassey singing something about a 'coldfinger'

All this I can cope with but apparently I have girls aloud around tonight for a spot of supper, So I decided to make time and prepare, Lo and behold open the cupboard draw and Amanda Holden is sat there smiling ............. I darent open the glove box what should I do ?

Channa
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Dear Channa
Rodent infestation is a common problem among motorhome owners. Mousey minxes and dusky welsh divas being among the more toublesome species but can be easily dealt with by employing a trail of tasty titbits and a fourteen pound sledgehammer as depicted in this instructional video
Tom and Jerry: Chuck Jones Collection - YouTube
The female Clamorous Shrew however, is exteremely difficult to get rid of. They hunt in packs of five and they will, as you put it "come round for supper", eat everything in your cupboards (including the sweet Amanda) and defy all your attempts at keeping them at bay. I'm told that there is only one pest exterminator in the whole of the UK who is able to deal with these nuisances and I believe he owns a shotgun. I have included his name and telephone number below;
Mr S Cowell
0901 6161601
Good luck
PS If the Shrews don't get to Amanda first I think you're in there!:tongue:
 
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Firefox said:
Dear Rubbertramp

Recently I fitted a new tablecloth in my van which leaves some of the table leg exposed. I have had complaints that this borders on indecency of the worst kind and the matter may have to be reported to the authorities. Is it too late to get a longer tablecloth, or will my chasteness be forever compromised by my wickedness?
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Dear Firefox
I had the privilege of seeing your new tablecloth this weekend whilst attending the Motorhomers' Abstinence Society's AGM at Stonehenge and I know you don't mind me saying how fetching you....I mean IT...looked. I do strongly disapprove however, of the attire being flaunted by the young lady I found in your company as I was saying goodbye. Being wrapped up from head to toe may be all very well for some sections of our society and certain weather conditions but surely some sort of skimpy outfit...... say, for instance a bikini would have been more appropriate for the balmy temperatures we experienced on Sunday?

PS If you don't get a move on your chaseness will never be compromised by your catchiness!
 
donkey too said:
Dear Aunty RT My Ex wife keeps turning up 4 times now in the 4 years since I got rid of her.
Again yeasterday the farmer was plowing the field behind my house and I recognised bits of clothing that were being turned up by the plough. What can I do as this is worrying?
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Dear Donkey
Archeology is the study of human culture throughout history and knowing some of yours it is not surprising that your neighbouring farmer has unearthed some of your ex-wife's artifacts....what a harrowing experience it must have been for him.
I remember you confiding to me once of your tremendous guilt that not one but six ex-wives were forced to go "underground" (as you put it) on various adjoining farms. Don't worry though, our correspondence remains strictly between ourselves;)
I'm afraid, my friend, that I haven't the foggiest idea of how you can solve your problem but fret-ye-not I have forwarded your letter to a dear friend of mine who, having had a terrific track record in detective work is, I believe, the top man for the job;

The Chief Constable
Suffolk Constabulary
Police Headquarters
Martlesham Heath
Ipswich
Suffolk
IP5 3QS
Expect a helping hand to knock on your door any day now!
 
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Well I can only say one thing to you RT. That is: You weren't gone long but Bugger we missed you.

I just bought a new (kind of) van mate so shall soon have it on the road and be back along side of you.
 
Dear RT,

I have a problem with my husband. When I try to snuggle up close to him in the bed at night, he has a sneaky method of repelling boarders......he lets fly with a a very unpleasant, erm, emmission of flatulence! (I hope this does not cause offence to anyone, as it certainly does to me!)

He is immune to the effects as he is wearing the mask of his mu....oops, breathing machine, but I am forced to roll out of bed and take refuge in the garden until it has cleared. This is, of course an absolute death blow to my romantic advances.

Please can you advise me how to bring romance back into my marriage, as it is currently being asphyxiated!!

Yours desperately,

KP x x x

(So good to have you back, RT!!)
 
kernowprickles said:
Dear RT,

I have a problem with my husband. When I try to snuggle up close to him in the bed at night, he has a sneaky method of repelling boarders......he lets fly with a a very unpleasant, erm, emmission of flatulence! (I hope this does not cause offence to anyone, as it certainly does to me!)

He is immune to the effects as he is wearing the mask of his mu....oops, breathing machine, but I am forced to roll out of bed and take refuge in the garden until it has cleared. This is, of course an absolute death blow to my romantic advances.

Please can you advise me how to bring romance back into my marriage, as it is currently being asphyxiated!!

Yours desperately,

KP x x x

(So good to have you back, RT!!)
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The secret of a good marriage is plenty of sex.................
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With as many different partners as possible.
 
donkey too said:
The secret of a good marriage is plenty of sex.................
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
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With as many different partners as possible.
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I think Kp is shattered that is why we haven't seen her on here for the last few hours. I think she has had four presents from the "Santa" posts already and is resting. No need to advise her on what makes a good marriage. It is US who need to follow her example. Wakey, Wakey, KP, the world is spinning and you need to keep up. Have a rest between Christmas and New Year. ☺☺☺☺☺
 
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