Dear Rubbertramp

Dear Rubber thingy,

Sokeone told me that sex between two people is called a twosome, and sex involving three people is a threesome. So why do they say you are handsome?:lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053:
 
oldish hippy said:
dearest rt

why cant i find my whos awake post i have tried using six inch nail sky hokks to hold of it and spend a few hour on here looking for it by the time i find it it iis to late to see whos awake as it is my bedtime do you think i should give up looking or perserve with the fruitless search as i think it floated off into the ether
Click to expand...

Dear Oldish
Many people who suffer with insomnia.... or "irregular bedtime habits" as some like to call it.....do so without the knowledge that a simple change in routine can make all the difference to a night's snoozification.
It is obvious to me that not lying on a bed of six inch nails suspended from sky hooks is a good place to start. Get rid of the nails man! Perhaps you could better employ the sky hooks by suspending a hammock from them.
Regular physical exercise is said to be a great aid to sleep so I am going to suggest an addition to your night-time routine....I find that a good old-fashioned rub down, preferably with a proficient lubricant such as Castrol's high temperature bearing and axle grease, performed alone for five minutes at hourly intervals during the evening works wonders. This exercise can be pulled off with a partner, of course but in my experience this cuts the exertion time right down to twenty seconds.....not nearly enough for a good night's sleep. Cleaning your rifle in this way comes highly reccommended by Donkey Too, TV's Timmy Mallet and other well known insomniacs.

Happy Zeds man!
Peace and Love!
 
Last edited:
PMSL 1st class respond:lol-053:

Rubbertramp said:
Dear Oldish
Many people who suffer with insomnia.... or "irregular bedtime habits" as some like to call it.....do so without the knowledge that a simple change in routine can make all the difference to a night's snoozification.
It is obvious to me that not lying on a bed of six inch nails suspended from sky hooks is a good place to start. Get rid of the nails man! Perhaps you could better employ the sky hooks by suspending a hammock from them.
Regular physical exercise is said to be a great aid to sleep so I am going to suggest an addition to your night-time routine....I find that a good old-fashioned rub down preferably with a proficient lubricant such as Castrol's high temperature bearing and axle grease, performed alone for five minutes at hourly intervals during the evening works wonders. This exercise can be pulled off with a partner, of course but in my experience this cuts the exertion time right down to twenty seconds.....not nearly enough for a good night's sleep. Cleaning your rifle in this way comes highly reccommended by Donkey Too, TV's Timmy Mallet and other well known insomniacs.

Happy Zeds man!
Peace and Love!
Click to expand...
 
donkey too said:
Dear Rubber thingy,

Sokeone told me that sex between two people is called a twosome, and sex involving three people is a threesome. So why do they say you are handsome?:lol-053::lol-053::lol-053::lol-053:
Click to expand...

Dear Donkey......I'll bet they don't call you ee-aw for nothing!

I've been thinking very long and very hard about my....ah-hem...I mean...your... problem. The advantages of committing percy filth with less than one person are many. Unless, of course, if you are left handed and over a certain age. I remember during my schooldays that lefthandedness was vigourously discouraged. Our headmaster "Pop" Evans quite often used to over-see classes and force the pubescent southpaws among us to use our right hands. This would cause much confusion whilst pushing the pencil, especially during the performance of homework tasks.
I suggest that you widen your circle of friends and become a member of one of the many slingers clubs popular with crane drivers and banksmen that are available on the internet these days. After all, they do say "Many hands make light work!"
PS I do believe that there are outdoor versions of these clubs too..... available on Canalsman's POI files.
 
dear rubbery one

peraps you can help with a problem never published in the sun:rolleyes2:

i am of small stature,and during ww2 when the japanese occupied singapore i made my escape through the underground sewerage system,

along the way i met a japanese soldier making his way home, we didnt shoot each other indeed shared a sandwich and our respective rations

i often wonder what became of him,did he get home

my question is this, should i contact him or were we just two nips passin in the shyte

channa
 
Dear Rubbertramp

I met this man on the internet. He seems like a nice guy, very popular with his friends and he has a good sense of humor. We have now decided to meet in person and he has arranged to meet me in the woods.
What precautions should I take? Will a rain jacket be sufficient, or is it true there is snow coming?

Thanks
WD
 
wind dancer said:
Dear Rubbertramp

I met this man on the internet. He seems like a nice guy, very popular with his friends and he has a good sense of humor. We have now decided to meet in person and he has arranged to meet me in the woods.
What precautions should I take? Will a rain jacket be sufficient, or is it true there is snow coming?

Thanks
WD
Click to expand...

Dear WD.....are you 40?
Precautions are preventative measures and to my mind are at all times to be thrown to the wind. Who among us have never ever thrown off all of our clothes and run through the woods in the rain and snow singing "Donald Where's Your Troosers"....I know I have!
On a lighter note....nice guys are the worst type of companion to spend a wet day in winter with. He will place his coat strategically across puddles of mud for you to walk on, shower you with compliments, hold open doors for you and insist on paying for lunch. This is not normal behaviour. If however, he speaks to you with grunts or single syllables, picks his nose and scratches his bum a lot while quaffing seven pints of lager...then you have indeed met your perfect man and my advice would be to propose marriage straight away!

PS If you are truly worried for your safety....many people find that taking along at least three savage dogs helps boost their confidence enormously.
 
Last edited:
just hears on grapevine it was moth man who made that offer could bve wrong but that what i heard lol
 
Yeh, Moffmans gonna take you muff hunting. Oops I meen moff huntin.:lol-053:
 
Rubbertramp said:
Dear WD.....are you 40?
Precautions are preventative measures and to my mind are at all times to be thrown to the wind. Who among us have never ever thrown off all of our clothes and run through the woods in the rain and snow singing "Donald Where's Your Troosers"....I know I have!
On a lighter note....nice guys are the worst type of companion to spend a wet day in winter with. He will place his coat strategically across puddles of mud for you to walk on, shower you with compliments, hold open doors for you and insist on paying for lunch. This is not normal behaviour. If however, he speaks to you with grunts or single syllables, picks his nose and scratches his bum a lot while quaffing seven pints of lager...then you have indeed met your perfect man and my advice would be to propose marriage straight away!

PS If you are truly worried for your safety....many people find that taking along at least three savage dogs helps boost their confidence enormously.
Click to expand...

Thanks RT, for your words of wisdom. Taking your advice with me will be almost as good as having you there as a chaperone. :bow:
 
channa said:
dear rubbery one

peraps you can help with a problem never published in the sun:rolleyes2:

i am of small stature,and during ww2 when the japanese occupied singapore i made my escape through the underground sewerage system,

along the way i met a japanese soldier making his way home, we didnt shoot each other indeed shared a sandwich and our respective rations

i often wonder what became of him,did he get home

my question is this, should i contact him or were we just two nips passin in the shyte

channa
Click to expand...

Dear Channa
Deja vu is a phenomenon frequently experienced when encountering small statues. As I was walking past the figure of the Manneken Pis whilst in Brussels the other day I got that warm, wet dreamy feeling that is often associated with this experience and would you believe it.....ended up in a parallel universe!
I think you'd like it there. It's just like our universe except that the female is the dominant gender. Men in this realm are pretty weak creatures I'm afraid and are unable to complete simple tasks like building sheds or changing wheels on their spouses' cars. The good news, however is that whilst in this other realm....around about twilight one day....I bumped into the Doppelganger of your Japanese soldier friend. His name is Lt. Hiroo Onoda and he told me he remembers you well. After your encounter, his double was posted to the Phillipine island of Lubang where he remained until finally surrendering 29 years after the war ended! He did travel to our universe at some point in the past and he ended up in the UK and got a job in TV ending up on the Benny Hill show for some years.
Benny Hill 5, from England - YouTube

PS ....Lt Onoda also told me that he would very much like to meet you again if only to return that special favour?....I didn't ask him to eraborate.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who viewed this discussion (Total:0)

Back
Top