Dear Rubbertramp

[JoMutch]

You want to try traveling with a dingo, never any problem with security :tongue:

 

[Deleted member 3802]

fftopic: best thread for weeks :idea-007: spoiled

 

[donkey too]

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You want to try traveling with a dingo, never any problem with security :tongue:

I dont think Jenny has any bother with security having Henry around.

Also I think Henry would eat a dingo and ask for seconds:lol-049:

 

[kimbowbill]

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I dont think Jenny has any bother with security having Henry around.

Also I think Henry would eat a dingo and ask for seconds:lol-049:

Henry has now gained another stone in weight, he is even bigger, lol, even tho he's had his nuts off lol xx

 

[Rubbertramp]

Dear Rubbertramp, apart from selling my body (not as anybody would want it) how can I make £1000000 this week

Dear *****
Back in 2008 I wrote to the then Chancellor of the Exchequer, one Mr Alistair....darling....so sorry, didn't mean to be so informal. Anyway, here is an extract from that letter;

Dear sir,
I have a gambling problem...you see I like to bet on the horses. Up to now I have made a healthy profit but recently have had to endure a long losing streak. This has, as you can imagine left me with some very large debts.
I woke up this morning at the usual 5.19 am and while I was listening to the shipping forecast and having a good scratch I had the most marvellous brainwave.
The government, I thought, is doling out billions of pounds in bale-out cash to the ailing banking industry because they too have hit a long losing run.
Now my question is; if you could spare me just one tiny itsy-bitsy fraction of that amount, say £1 million till the end of the week, then this will, I'm 100% sure, be enough to see out my own bad luck. I would be happy to pay interset on this loan at the bank base rate.
Yours etc.

Well would you believe it..... I had a cheque by return of post! I told a few friends about this and they told a few friends and so-on and so-on and guess what.....yes you guessed it, they all received cheques in the post, one million each!....now you know where all the rest of that taxpayers' money went!
Now you could try this with the current Chancellor but he's a Conservative and I think that means they like to conserve their money.
But :goodluck: anyway.

PS I think medical science only pays twenty five quid for your body these days.

 

[Rubbertramp]

Phil, you had better watch out that Tes doesn't read your post otherwise it may be?

Dear Rubbertramp, how do I get rid of a black eye and how can I pursuade my wife to give me nookie:lol-049::raofl::banana::wacko:

Dear *****
My, you do have a few problems don't you?
In these enlightened times all eyes are looked upon with equality. It is no longer acceptable to refer to them by their colour. White,black, red, blue or yellow, they must all be treated and accepted on our faces just the same as we cherish those little hairs that grow out of our noses and ears. You must learn to be more tolerant. If you find this difficult then I'm told a raw steak or a packet of (not black-eyed) frozen peas will do the trick.

With regard to your other question; I have phoned Roger de Courcey as he is a personal friend and he says that he is not prepared to sell Nookie to your wife...Sorry but as a consolation here's a link

Dailymotion - Nookie Bear & Roger DeCourcey - a Funny video ....Now you can have Nookie any time you like!

 

[Rubbertramp]

ok here goes been trying to post this most of the night (not through connection ptrblem or site issues) thanks RT for doing this thread it has helped made my day brighter than normal



thanks to the other posters as well made good day slightly brighter did try turning on the light but tha t led me to thinking am i turning on the light or am i switching off the darkness so is dark normal or is light normal same as chicken and egg

Dear Hippy
Your question is far too deep man! Try posing it in another way....maybe along the lines of "Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are? Or would you rather be a chicken or an egg?
Edwina Currie once said "Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella"....That's rich, I remember thinking at the time, coming from one whose surname is another bowel-busting foodstuff! A chap called Colonel Sanders was said to have had a divine revelation while fasting in the Nevada desert......":idea: Chicken!!" he is said to have exclaimed....Anyway it's very, very dark out now and my brain hurts but I promise I'll have a good think and get back to you if I can shed some light on your dilemma.
Peace!

 

[oldish hippy]

Dear Hippy
Your question is far too deep man! Try posing it in another way....maybe along the lines of "Would you like to swing on a star? Carry moonbeams home in a jar? And be better off than you are? Or would you rather be a chicken or an egg?
Edwina Currie once said "Most of the egg production in this country, sadly, is now affected with salmonella"....That's rich, I remember thinking at the time, coming from one whose surname is another bowel-busting foodstuff! A chap called Colonel Sanders was said to have had a divine revelation while fasting in the Nevada desert......":idea: Chicken!!" he is said to have exclaimed....Anyway it's very, very dark out now and my brain hurts but I promise I'll have a good think and get back to you if I can shed some light on your dilemma.
Peace!

or maybe shed some dark on it when you turn on the dark
oh by the way miss milleis is just up the road colenel sander is a bit further away (miss millies chicken shop like kfc~) so it was you blocking my drivewway when you went to miss millies

 

[Mothman]

PMSL well done Rubbertramp
Now thats a LOVELY LOVELY looking doggy lol

 

[Admin]

:mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2::mad2:

Come on!

This is not an adult site!

A bit of clever adult humor is fine but links to sites selling sex toys?

Please Please be considerate to other members.

There is no problem with having some fun, but please think about the damage you are doing to this site.

 

[Rubbertramp]

Phil, There were no sexually explicit images on that link that I could see....just pieces of plastic.....Sorry but I thought we were all adults here, obviously not.... it was a bit of fun! Unlike some of the vitriol and threats of violence I have had to witness on some threads over the last two weeks. I would say that more damage was caused by those posts.
That said, it won't happen again.

 

[Admin]

Phil, There were no sexually explicit images on that link that I could see....just pieces of plastic

Shaped like erect penises

Sorry but I thought we were all adults here, obviously not

This is a family rated site, and this was too much.

it was a bit of fun!

I agree it was a bit of fun and no harm was ment, but just thinking if the post may offend before posting it may have been a good idea.

Unlike some of the vitriol and threats of violence I have had to witness on some threads over the last two weeks. I would say that more damage was caused by those posts.

Posts have been deleted and members have been banned and others warned.

I cannot please everyone all the time, but I try.

 

[Rubbertramp]

Dear Bopper
Rubbertramp is on holiday citing stress as a reason.....He keeps commenting on how dark it is outside and moonbeams and how his brain hurts a lot.
Between you and me I think he is having a bit of a sulk as someone in the office told him off for sneaking a look at an Ann Summers catalogue,
I have forwarded your farming related problem to;

Mr Brian Aldridge
Home Farm
Ambridge
Borcetshire
BL51 HTT

Yours
O. Winfrey (Mrs)
Secretary

 

[Admin]

*** Sighs ***

 

[Channa]

Dear Bopper
Rubbertramp is on holiday citing stress as a reason..

I hope you have recovered from your stress problem, I suspect dealing with the collective issues of miscreants here can provide a challenge.

But before you retire, I hope you can assist me as it seems I have a deep rooted problem and I dont know who to turn to.

You see my camper is infested with young ladies, I have a little Aussie minx by the name of Keelee ? no Kylie Minogue thats is pestering all the time.

I showered this morning because it is the last day of the month....Pulled back the curtain and there was Shirley Bassey singing something about a 'coldfinger'

All this I can cope with but apparently I have girls aloud around tonight for a spot of supper, So I decided to make time and prepare, Lo and behold open the cupboard draw and Amanda Holden is sat there smiling ............. I darent open the glove box what should I do ?

Channa

 

[David & Ann]

I hope you have recovered from your stress problem, I suspect dealing with the collective issues of miscreants here can provide a challenge.

But before you retire, I hope you can assist me as it seems I have a deep rooted problem and I dont know who to turn to.

You see my camper is infested with young ladies, I have a little Aussie minx by the name of Keelee ? no Kylie Minogue thats is pestering all the time.

I showered this morning because it is the last day of the month....Pulled back the curtain and there was Shirley Bassey singing something about a 'coldfinger'

All this I can cope with but apparently I have girls aloud around tonight for a spot of supper, So I decided to make time and prepare, Lo and behold open the cupboard draw and Amanda Holden is sat there smiling ............. I darent open the glove box what should I do ?

Channa

Rubbertramp has requested through me, any further posts to be sent by e-mail to him. His e-mail address is rtpyscologist@terrestrialmars.universal1.com

 

[Firefox]

Personally, I thought RT's link was completely harmless.

However, I do know that if one hosts Google ads, or indeed other types of ads on a blog/forum, they get completely anal about any links on the same page to "adult content" and threaten to delete your adsense account etc. It has to be seen to be believed!! For Google's definition of adult content, refer to mega-prude and the standards of late Victorian England.

The fact that Google itself links to really hardcore porn while hosting adsense on the same page proves there is one law for some and another for the rest.

Which reminds me...

Dear Rubbertramp

Recently I fitted a new tablecloth in my van which leaves some of the table leg exposed. I have had complaints that this borders on indecency of the worst kind and the matter may have to be reported to the authorities. Is it too late to get a longer tablecloth, or will my chasteness be forever compromised by my wickedness?

 

[John H]

Posts have been deleted and members have been banned and others warned.

I wondered where he'd gone (and you may be interested to know that on another forum he's added you to his list of "communists" who are out to get him) but can I put in yet another plea against bannings and deletions. I can perhaps best demonstrate why by referring to Nick Griffin (and I am not trying to compare anyone here with him; merely using him as a high profile example) who was given the time and space to tie himself in knots on "Question Time" and who has been on a downward spiral ever since.

As for this particvular thread, I, like many others, have been greatly amused by it (well done RT) and have found absolutely nothing in it offensive. But even if I had, then I would say that the free speech argument outweighs any offence caused (within the confines of the law, of course). After all, anyone liable to be offended by something has the option not to look at it.

I know you and I have different ideas over this, but I felt I had to make the point again.

 

[Channa]

maybe Rubbertramp is on strike:sad:

It seems so, but things are getting desperate Girls Aloud are due here within the hour, and apparently have Bananarama in tow too ............I seriously feel a take away coming on


And Kylie lil Aussie Minx ...all I am getting out of her is ' I should be so lucky',,, and her pal Vicky and the spice lasses are paying avisit tomoorow :rolleyes2:

Even Léon Le Hound is looking at me for some kind of answer ...What can I say ?

We are off down town I will persuade everyone to partake in spare ribs a few doggy bags keeps him quiet ...

Crikey Bridgit Bardot knocking at the door know with a dozen cats ....OMG had a peek she has her Mate Ursula Andress too ...

I just hope no show from Felicity Kendall ....

Rt I can see this going flips sid ebig style .HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

Channa:banana:




Channa

 

[Channa]

Tbh ***** I darent open the cutlery draw ...something tells me Demi ...or half a moor as I call her may well be lurking.

Girls aloud have arrived already ...sneaky shower :lol-053:...and leave em to it ..;i am off to a local hostelry to collect bones for Léon and to partake in their fair no doubt the resident Kylie will tell all in the morning

Its a hard life

Channa