Pudsey Bear
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Don't you be trying to to foist your filthy habits on to me you great ham fisted oik, I am a clean living bear, my pee is like alter wine.
WEll if the police officer tastes it he sure will alter your ass, mind you i would let him take the p-ss.Don't you be trying to to foist your filthy habits on to me you great ham fisted oik, I am a clean living bear, my pee is like alter wine.
Don't worry someone else will write itThere should be legislation that when a driving license is issued, a DNA sample is provided to the DVLA. Then any roadside "emissions" can be DNA tested, matched to the originator and a fine sent for 'littering'
Opps.... That was meant to be a "letter of the week" to the Daily Mail. Silly me![]()
Does a Pudsey Pee in the Layby?Don't you be trying to to foist your filthy habits on to me you great ham fisted oik, I am a clean living bear, my pee is like alter wine.
What only pee, are you sure.Does a Pudsey Pee in the Layby?
Is the Pope Catholic?
What you hang poo up on ceilings at xmas time.![]()
You're taking the P***A wee commentary on this subject I made during our canal travels in France about 15 years ago….
Cultural Icons
Sun shines, breeze sighs,
A Frenchman tinkles on the towpath.
Dangling rod, wriggling maggot,
A Frenchman tinkles on the towpath.
On the bank, picnic party,
A Frenchman tinkles on the towpath.
Standing proud, upon the bridge,
A Frenchman tinkles on the towpath.
On the quay, in public view,
A Frenchman tinkles….
“My God, that’s the fifth already this morning,” complains ‘er on the ropes, “Why do they do that, what’s wrong with a tree? Why don’t their women complain”?
“Ah, cultural heritage”, say I, “Famous architect le Corbusier summed it all up. He explained away the acrid smelling cylindrical feature amid the foyer of his latest architectural creation as a celebration of mans basic human functions”.
“A last bastion of French male self-expression then?” she queries, “A cultural icon to commemorate the 2CV and those foul perforated metal drums that used to adorn the corner of every ‘rue’ and ‘boulevard’?”
“Hmmm yeeees, that’s just about it I guess”
“Well we can only hope it gets better in Belgium!”
We moor up in Bruges, report to Mevrouw Havenmeester. As we chat a smart polished Citroen glides up. A smart polished suit emerges, strides across and with no further ado proceeds to marinate an ornamental bush by the quayside.
“A visitor from over the border perhaps?”, I suggest.
Mevrouw H emits a furious gargle of choicest Flemish, “I tell him I call the police”, she translates, “Oooh if my husband were here….”
The polished ‘visiteur’ feigns deafness, eyes averted he bravely attempts to stroll with nonchalant dignity back to his executive steed. Very difficult to achieve with a cultural icon stuck in your zip!
You ait parking near me then Tim
Surely its easier to empty your onboard loo abroad? Certainly in countries like France, Germany, Italy and Spain. Aires everywhere and usually free to empty your cassette.
When wilding properly in Spain pre ****** we and most would park up for at least a week at a time. For you,you would have to drive many miles just to empty your toilet. If your paying to park on a campsite then there's no issue.Surely its easier to empty your onboard loo abroad? Certainly in countries like France, Germany, Italy and Spain. Aires everywhere and usually free to empty your cassette.
On a campsite in Dunkirk they have the outdoor male urinals in an elevated position, so visible from much of the site.France,, Spain and Portugal impressed me when i first went there ,with their pragmatic attitude to human waste . we all did it , no big deal , just try not to be an exhibition or nuisance . so not too shocking to see smartly dressed french ladies crouch down in the long grass, in full view ,but dignity maintained .
saw a spanish cop on a traffic island stop all cars while stood and had a long piss
Queen Victoria wore crotchless drawers and they weren't for Albert's delight !
i just can't find this sort of thing offensive , but remember well holding one of my kids age 3 over a gutter in Bath,and hearing a disapproving tutting noise ,turned in time to give 2 miserable old cows the full benefit of my command of Anglo-Saxon foul mouthery
Nr 2s use 1L yoggy pot sat in the loo with a perfumed doggy bag in it, do it, tie it, bin it, as i've posted before. Those pots are odour tight if left lidded overnight, but keep spare pots if poss.I to use a plastic bottle to pee in .
I cut a suitable sized access hole .
I would normally empty it discreetly while taking the dog for a comfort break.
I opened the wiz bang late one evening lot Molly the collie out .
I had a 1ltr LUCASADE bottle quite full ready to empty .
I put the electric side step out then stepped onto it to keep me off the wet grass as I wasn't wearing shoes.
I leaned on the front edge of the wiz bang and reached out as far as I could to empty the bottle .
All went well until the wiz bang started to slide backwards.
I lost my ballance and finished up in a heap on the rain wet grass .
A week later I did exact same thing except the fall from grace was much more painful as I landed quite hard on my left shoulder blade .
I have now bought 2 male 1.5 ltr urinal screw capped bottles £9.95.
I am very surprised the difference of not peeing in the cassette toilet .
The cassette lasted me the 3 weeks I was out wild camping and just over half full with the bit of wee and covering water for the solids .
.
Normally would need emptying at least twice in same period.
I am thinking of using bin liner for no 2s inserted into the loo bowl for extended vacations .
Love the idea of Pot Nuddle container insert.
We have Been Wilding for 16 years now always found it difficult to empty black waste.
on my own now .
Has anyone mistakenly opened the pot by mistake hoping for a snack?Nr 2s use 1L yoggy pot sat in the loo with a perfumed doggy bag in it, do it, tie it, bin it, as i've posted before. Those pots are odour tight if left lidded overnight, but keep spare pots if poss.