xmass cracker joke

[Deleted member 775]

the letter A ?????

 

[sundown]

Back to the jokes.

What do:-
A London suburb, A Scottish town, A European country, and A South American river, all have in common.

ok geoff
i've nearly burnt out the hard-drive in my tiny brain over this one.(2mb)
I usually like to think im pretty good at solving riddles
but this seems to be very cryptic
so im going to sleep on it!
sundown

 

[sundown]

yip from my fairground days i got loads off half pennys/tanners/bob bits (shillings ) silver threpences/half dollers/farthings /even got a white fiver/ ho for the days fish n chips a bob / 5 woodbines 9d / pint o bitter 1\6 / gallon of petrol dare i say it 2\6/
go out on a saturday nite with 3 quid fags supper and well drunk and mabe have change

I may be a couple of years older or started smoking earlier than you but my first 5 woodbine cost 7d we used to get 4 domino in the same paper pack as woodbine for a tanner. a pint of light was 11 pence ha'penny, heavy was
1 shilling and 2 pence and a good night out only cost 10 bob
we always got into a fight in those days, but no-one was ever realy hurt ,
we usually ended up having a drink with our opponents, slapping each other on the back, and became best of friends.
oh! and 2 stroke petrol for my aerial leader 200cc was 1/3 per gallon
my weekly wage at the time was £3/7/6d
and a jam roll was 2d
wow! the good old days eh!!!
sundown

 

[walkers]

Well i may be showing my age now but i can remember spending fathings and silver sixpence

well me too though only just i think i was six when decimilisation came in.
good to see you on here trevor have a great xmas and a fantastic new year

 

[Geoff.W]

Back to the jokes.

What do:-
A London suburb, A Scottish town, A European country, and A South American river, all have in common.

Sorry been a bit tied up today.

Answer:- THE WOMBLES

Wimbledon, Tobermory, (great uncle) Bulgaria & Orinocco.

 

[lenny]

Good answer Geoff,(assuming it's correct), remind me on if we ever get involved in a pub quiz night.. I'm in your team

Regards Lenny

 

[lenny]

ok geoff
i've nearly burnt out the hard-drive in my tiny brain over this one.(2mb)
I usually like to think im pretty good at solving riddles
but this seems to be very cryptic
so im going to sleep on it!
sundown

Hiya Sundown, I would have put my motorhome on you getting the (Scottish town )part of the riddle.
here,s a clue...Balamory.

P.S. Does It really exist?

 

[lenny]

What to buy the wife.

I've just bought the wife a new bag and a new belt.

Don't know if she'll like them but the hoover picks up much better

 

[sundown]

Sorry been a bit tied up today.

Answer:- THE WOMBLES

Wimbledon, Tobermory, (great uncle) Bulgaria & Orinocco.

and i thought i nearly had it

candle wick------scottish town
candle greece--- european country
candle abra------river in ----"oh heck its in china"
wrong continent

ps whats a womble?
sundown

 

[sundown]

I've just bought the wife a new bag and a new belt.

Don't know if she'll like them but the hoover picks up much better

your very thoughtfull lenny.
as is my wife,
she bought me a brand new hoover
sundown

 

[lenny]

your very thoughtfull lenny.
as is my wife,
she bought me a brand new hoover
sundown

I find that hard to believe. I can just picture you now Nick (Rab C Nesbitt, lookalike) hoovering the passage.NO

 

[lenny]

Last Christmas or was it the one before???
I bought Kath a tyre for the m/h and she got one for me
I think I will buy her a cycle rack this year!!

Very good, L.O.L. Just what I wanted

Regards ..Lenny

 

[sundown]

Last Christmas or was it the one before???
I bought Kath a tyre for the m/h and she got one for me
I think I will buy her a cycle rack this year!!

good one!
she'll probably buy you a ladies bike
sundown

 

[sundown]

OK getting back to the absolutly crap xmas jokes
heres an absolute rubbish one,

There once was a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great.
He was standing in his house one day with his wife.
He looked out the window and saw something happening.
He says to his wife, "Look honey. Its raining."
She, being the obstinate type, responded, "I don't think so, dear.
I think its snowing." But Rudolph knew better.
So he says to his wife,
"Let's step outside and we'll find out." Lo and behold, they step outside
and discovered it was in fact rain.
Rudolph turns to his wife and replies, "I knew it was raining dear you see.
Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

sundown

 

[wigan pier]

I may be a couple of years older or started smoking earlier than you but my first 5 woodbine cost 7d we used to get 4 domino in the same paper pack as woodbine for a tanner. a pint of light was 11 pence ha'penny, heavy was
1 shilling and 2 pence and a good night out only cost 10 bob
we always got into a fight in those days, but no-one was ever realy hurt ,
we usually ended up having a drink with our opponents, slapping each other on the back, and became best of friends.
oh! and 2 stroke petrol for my aerial leader 200cc was 1/3 per gallon
my weekly wage at the time was £3/7/6d
and a jam roll was 2d
wow! the good old days eh!!!
sundown

yeh my wage on the (gaff) fairground was 2/- a day plus 1 meal and u sleept in back o wagon to make any money u had to look down back of waltzer car seats or under the rides or rob em blind as for fighting u were 100% right kock em down let em get up we fought em all mods rockers teds ive got the scars to proove it the cost of a ride on the rides was 3d yeh good old days ?

 

[snowgoose]

a christmas cracker

What is the difference betwixt a SNOWMAN & a SNOWWOMAN?????????
snowgoose.

 

[Trevor]

What is the difference betwixt a SNOWMAN & a SNOWWOMAN?????????
snowgoose.

A snowman can't have snowbaby's

 

[snowgoose]

snowman twixt snow women

well lets just say when we were kids we loved to have a fight with them when it snowed
snowgoose.