Cornish Emmit
Guest
Dear members.
I wish to apply for membership of the numpty club.
Yesterday I spent two hours syphoning out the water from our hymers fresh water tank, then with torch in hand i took off the inspecton cover only to find a drain bung at the bottom of the tank.
I removed the bung to clean it, breaking the pull chain in the process, I bleached the tank and flushed it.
now I cant find where I put the bl**^y bung, but I still have the broken chain that i thaught i had thrown away!
Chris
I wish to apply for membership of the numpty club.
Yesterday I spent two hours syphoning out the water from our hymers fresh water tank, then with torch in hand i took off the inspecton cover only to find a drain bung at the bottom of the tank.
I removed the bung to clean it, breaking the pull chain in the process, I bleached the tank and flushed it.
now I cant find where I put the bl**^y bung, but I still have the broken chain that i thaught i had thrown away!
Chris
Jacques le foot
Guest
Whoops!! lol ....there but for the grace of God go any one of us 
Pioneer
Guest
Can I join this elite club today please?
Yesterday I went to repair a minor leak in the Erbaspacher pipework, tightened up the jubilee clips at the suspect T piece joint, this done still dripping.
*Thought*, change the joining small lengths of 3/4 bore pipes, drove to town (12mile round trip) got home, cut the pipe to length and kneeling down removed the old section of pipe. Raised my hand to get the new pipe from the tabletop and fitted it. Run the heater to test and guess what?? Yep, fitted the old pipe, and after kicking the old pipe down the garden, fitted the new piece.
In the words of another more famous NUMPTY, "All's well that ends well, that's what I say"
Happy Camping
Yesterday I went to repair a minor leak in the Erbaspacher pipework, tightened up the jubilee clips at the suspect T piece joint, this done still dripping.
*Thought*, change the joining small lengths of 3/4 bore pipes, drove to town (12mile round trip) got home, cut the pipe to length and kneeling down removed the old section of pipe. Raised my hand to get the new pipe from the tabletop and fitted it. Run the heater to test and guess what?? Yep, fitted the old pipe,
and after kicking the old pipe down the garden, fitted the new piece.In the words of another more famous NUMPTY, "All's well that ends well, that's what I say"
Happy Camping
tresrikay
Guest
Numpty of the year award
Just had a thought, as this thread has stirred up a fair bit of interest.Maybe we could keep it open and at the end of the season we could nominate by popular vote who we think is the best, or rather most deserving recipient of this award.
I suggest the closing weekend at Hayfield as the venue, Jonathon Woss asthe M.C, and that we think of an appropriate gong that the winner could posess until the next award ceremony.................. So far AJiSt is well and truly ahead......... but no doubt, Lootfull Lenny, our resident bookmaker could offer favourable odds to keep the whole thing totally bogus.
Just had a thought, as this thread has stirred up a fair bit of interest.Maybe we could keep it open and at the end of the season we could nominate by popular vote who we think is the best, or rather most deserving recipient of this award
. I suggest the closing weekend at Hayfield as the venue, Jonathon Woss
asthe M.C, and that we think of an appropriate gong that the winner could posess until the next award ceremony.................. So far AJiSt is well and truly ahead......... but no doubt, Lootfull Lenny, our resident bookmaker could offer favourable odds to keep the whole thing totally bogus.lenny
Guest
Great Idea
Rick ,you,re a genius, what a great idea but I,m afraid I must be an early favourite to receive the Gong, I even have photographic evidence to prove that I,m the bigget Numpty but I will hang fire with my catastrophe for fear of frightening off other nominations,
Lets see who can drop the biggest Bo** ock before the presentation ceremony
BTW Our friend Saj is second favourite for the moment
Rick ,you,re a genius
, what a great idea but I,m afraid I must be an early favourite to receive the Gong, I even have photographic evidence to prove that I,m the bigget Numpty but I will hang fire with my catastrophe for fear of frightening off other nominations,Lets see who can drop the biggest Bo** ock before the presentation ceremony
BTW Our friend Saj is second favourite for the moment
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ajs
Guest
BTW Our friend Saj is second favourite for the moment
OI benny
.. i'll have you know i have a BA (hon) in nuptyism..... qualified i is...regards
ajs
Zoay
Guest
I think we did quite well on the numptyisms front for our first trip.
We were saved purely by the grace of God a few times
- running on almost empty before we found our first fuel
- stopping in a massive layby to have a car park 2 feet in front of us; we reversed back ok and it wasn't until we pulled out that we realised his friend had parked right behind us, so close not visible in the mirrors. Oops. (And what were they thinking?)
- running out of water at 10pm just when the toilet was urgently needed - himself had to march too and fro the water point with a pressure cooker to get a little in the tank for the night
- going under a bridge (marked as 5cm higher than our van) and then an unmarked tunnel not quite sure whether we would fit; we did thankfully
- we also parked on grass without testing it first; got off fine though
- overflowing the waste tanks - more than once
- we got led by our satnav down a (very beautiful) road which suddenly declared itself to be unsuitable for long or wide vehicles, without declaring what either meant. There was no turning back so we went very carefully, stopped a lot of cars coming the other way, and made it ok.
And my personal favourite; when we braked sharply, being stabbed in the head by a flying pair of scissors which himself had left accidentally on top of the cupboards by the side of the overcab bed. Missed my eye by about 2 inches. Yow.
Happily each of these has proved to be a significant learning point. And as I say I am very grateful that the significant ones didn't end badly.
Wonder if we'll survive our next trip?
We were saved purely by the grace of God a few times
- running on almost empty before we found our first fuel
- stopping in a massive layby to have a car park 2 feet in front of us; we reversed back ok and it wasn't until we pulled out that we realised his friend had parked right behind us, so close not visible in the mirrors. Oops. (And what were they thinking?)
- running out of water at 10pm just when the toilet was urgently needed - himself had to march too and fro the water point with a pressure cooker to get a little in the tank for the night
- going under a bridge (marked as 5cm higher than our van) and then an unmarked tunnel not quite sure whether we would fit; we did thankfully
- we also parked on grass without testing it first; got off fine though
- overflowing the waste tanks - more than once
- we got led by our satnav down a (very beautiful) road which suddenly declared itself to be unsuitable for long or wide vehicles, without declaring what either meant. There was no turning back so we went very carefully, stopped a lot of cars coming the other way, and made it ok.
And my personal favourite; when we braked sharply, being stabbed in the head by a flying pair of scissors which himself had left accidentally on top of the cupboards by the side of the overcab bed. Missed my eye by about 2 inches. Yow.
Happily each of these has proved to be a significant learning point. And as I say I am very grateful that the significant ones didn't end badly.
Wonder if we'll survive our next trip?
TWS
Guest
Zoay, you are a front runner, good luck on your next trip.
Tom
Tom
lenny
Guest
Who,s A Numpty
Well heres my" Numpty of the Year " nomination
It was about 6 months ago and I had booked my van in for the MOT at a garage close to my workplace, I arranged to drop the van off at the garage early and pop the keys through the letterbox in an envelope with my contact details then walked to work.
I noticed that the drivers side front brake seemed to be dragging on the morning of the MOT, on arriving at the garage I parked up against the fence at the top end of the forecourt then jumped out to check the front hub, It was red hot, never mind it was too late now to fix it so locked the van up,posted the keys and toddled off to worked cursing my luck,(It was bound to fail on the front brakes)
Anyway I got a phonecall an hour later from the garage and he advised me. Either your handbrake does not work or you didnt apply it this morning
It seems I forgot to apply the handbrake whilst the sticking front brake held the van still on the incline but when the wheel cooled down the the brake pads must have contracted and the van rolled down the forecourt coming to rest with the bumper buried in another parked car
It cost me £180 to fix the other car, and me van failed the MOT but the handbrake was fine
Now....Who,s the biggest Numpty???
Well heres my" Numpty of the Year " nomination
It was about 6 months ago and I had booked my van in for the MOT at a garage close to my workplace, I arranged to drop the van off at the garage early and pop the keys through the letterbox in an envelope with my contact details then walked to work
.I noticed that the drivers side front brake seemed to be dragging on the morning of the MOT, on arriving at the garage I parked up against the fence at the top end of the forecourt then jumped out to check the front hub, It was red hot
, never mind it was too late now to fix it so locked the van up,posted the keys and toddled off to worked cursing my luck,(It was bound to fail on the front brakes)Anyway I got a phonecall an hour later from the garage
and he advised me. Either your handbrake does not work or you didnt apply it this morningIt seems I forgot to apply the handbrake whilst the sticking front brake held the van still on the incline but when the wheel cooled down the the brake pads must have contracted and the van rolled down the forecourt coming to rest with the bumper buried in another parked car
It cost me £180 to fix the other car, and me van failed the MOT but the handbrake was fine
Now
....Who,s the biggest Numpty???ajs
Guest
the numpty cup...
.
back into the lead benny....
regards
ajs
.
back into the lead benny....
regards
ajs
Cornish Emmit
Guest
Well thats it , the Gods of numpty have been apeased, I have spent 3 hours fashioning a drain bung from a sink plug ( having thrown the old one away ) but no!!!
The first mate ( or that is her title before Lupus stoped her sailing ) agreed that a box on the back to take her new wheelchair would be a good idea.
Out I go, torch, tape measure, pen and paper in hand, get a full set of measurements of the motorcycle rack that I will mount new Fiamma box on.
Onto computer, 20 minuits and £330 later, retire to bed satisfied in a job well done.
36 hours later its delivered ( brilliant service, www.fiamma.co.uk ) unpack it (good greif its big ) outside with instructions and its 20 cm to short to fit the frame.
Check measurements taken, thaught i had written 140 cm, looking closely had written 160cm.
Go indoors sheepishly, explain to first mate who says " thaught it looked to short" lots of reassuring noises.....
Now engaged in total re-design of frame.
Oh death where is thy sting
The first mate ( or that is her title before Lupus stoped her sailing ) agreed that a box on the back to take her new wheelchair would be a good idea.
Out I go, torch, tape measure, pen and paper in hand, get a full set of measurements of the motorcycle rack that I will mount new Fiamma box on.
Onto computer, 20 minuits and £330 later, retire to bed satisfied in a job well done.
36 hours later its delivered ( brilliant service, www.fiamma.co.uk ) unpack it (good greif its big ) outside with instructions and its 20 cm to short to fit the frame.
Check measurements taken, thaught i had written 140 cm, looking closely had written 160cm.
Go indoors sheepishly, explain to first mate who says " thaught it looked to short" lots of reassuring noises.....
Now engaged in total re-design of frame.
Oh death where is thy sting
tresrikay
Guest
I bought a Bike rack off E-bay for £20 and I was dead chuffed but it came in bits without instructions So I got the laptop out and went to Omnistors web site and found an exploded diag........ so on the front room carpet i got ot sort of assembled but the holes for the bolts were wrong...
Took it out to the van and held it up to the already fixed mounting brackets definately holes dont marry......... So out comes the drill and I drill new holes top and bottom fix it all together ..... go for large whisky........ now some 4 hours later.
Go to Doncaster meet look at other bike racks ..........Mine is on upside down
So I got the laptop out and went to Omnistors web site and found an exploded diag........ so on the front room carpet i got ot sort of assembled but the holes for the bolts were wrong...Took it out to the van and held it up to the already fixed mounting brackets
definately holes dont marry......... So out comes the drill and I drill new holes top and bottom fix it all together ..... go for large whisky........ now some 4 hours later.Go to Doncaster meet look at other bike racks ..........
Mine is on upside downBelgian
Guest
Went to the supermarket a few minutes before closing time. It is only 500m around the corner but to get there quickly for once I took the car. Did my errands and went home.
Next morning. Looked out the window and the car wasn't there on its usual place ! Stoolen ! Panic ! Phoned the police when wiffy said: didn't you forget something at the supermarket ? Ooops
Next morning. Looked out the window and the car wasn't there on its usual place !
Stoolen ! Panic ! Phoned the police when wiffy said: didn't you forget something at the supermarket ? Ooops salopian
Guest
Obviously a student of the late Prof. Stanley Unwin.....My numpty moment was wildcamping in Cornwall 3 years ago on a deserted NH carpark...I left the MH to put a bag of rubbish in the bin and heard the door slam shut and locked behind me.. !!!..Heater and TV on and me in shorts and T shirt at 5 o'clock on a cold November evening..!! I now have an electronic key fob hidden on the exterior and had cause to use it only last week after returning from emptying the cassette toilet..!! will I never learn..!!
Pioneer
Guest
Come on guys this is still open, and I am not the only numpty from the Hayfield meet.
I organised the numbers for the friday night nosh up at the Sportsmans, got to the pub and guess what, left my wallet in the van!
On the way back to the site, talking about Angela and how she trips over all the little pieces of stone when walking, immediately tripped to great delight of all around, that Thwaites Best is quite nice.
So come on numpties, time to own up!
Happy Camping
I organised the numbers for the friday night nosh up at the Sportsmans, got to the pub and guess what, left my wallet in the van!
On the way back to the site, talking about Angela and how she trips over all the little pieces of stone when walking, immediately tripped to great delight of all around, that Thwaites Best is quite nice.
So come on numpties, time to own up!
Happy Camping
Pioneer
Guest
Dug this old thread out, because today I hit the NUMPTY spot again
Checking the tyres on the Pioneer, found what looked like a nail got the magnet out of the shed and it went mad, so took her down to the local tyre guys so that it could be jacked up and checked, not wanting to risk a flat at home.
The Stone was flicked out of a small cut immediately but when I said the magnet stuck to the tyre, the reply was "well they are steel radials"
NUMPTY or what!
Bloody glad it was a stone.
Happy Camping
Checking the tyres on the Pioneer, found what looked like a nail
got the magnet out of the shed and it went mad, so took her down to the local tyre guys so that it could be jacked up and checked, not wanting to risk a flat at home.The Stone was flicked out of a small cut immediately
but when I said the magnet stuck to the tyre, the reply was "well they are steel radials"NUMPTY or what!
Bloody glad it was a stone.
Happy Camping
ajs
Guest
Dug this old thread out, because today I hit the NUMPTY spot again
Checking the tyres on the Pioneer, found what looked like a nail
The Stone was flicked out of a small cut immediately
NUMPTY or what!
Bloody glad it was a stone.
Happy Camping
styonrear... you qualify as the forum numpty...
... no one can better that tale
... can they...retards
aj
Coolasluck
Full Member
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keep them coming guys,if i meet up with some of you lot i will point the stupid stick at you all!!
I suspect i have it all to come very soon though!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
I suspect i have it all to come very soon though!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
Pioneer
Guest
Hi coolasluck,
I suspect i have it all to come very soon though!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
Oh yes
It's great when you can laugh at yourself, I do it all the time
All's well that ends well, that's what I say Who said that?
Happy Camping
I suspect i have it all to come very soon though!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
Oh yes
It's great when you can laugh at yourself, I do it all the time
All's well that ends well, that's what I say
Who said that?Happy Camping