Class A: A-class post 1995 Hymer, Pilote, Rapido, Bürstner, Machzone, Auto-Sleeper etc – OK, and Swift. (As good as it gets. All US RVs are in a class of their own and therefore have no class?)
Class B: C-class post ’95 and all pre-’95 A-classes in excellent condition, plus high tops costing £30,000 or more. (Haven’t quite made it, or enjoy doing the Fosbury flop at bedtime.)
Class C: all budget C-classes costing less than £25,000 new and high top panel vans costing less than £30,000 new. (Small working class families and Mirror Group pensioners.)
Class D: Good quality self build, Island Plastics etc. (Generally riff-raff, although some are old money and just slumming it, so it pays to be polite.)
Class E: VW splits and bays, Commer, Bedford, Transit etc. (Real enthusiasts on a budget.) Please note that Class E is welcome anywhere so long as the ‘van is up to scratch.
And so to the rules:
Rule 1. With reference to the class table, waving and/or acknowledgement may take place only with a driver or vehicle within the same class or one class below your own (but with due sympathy for those down the scale). Class E should only wave/acknowledge their own class.
Rule 2. Upon crossing paths with a vehicle in a class above your own, remember to wait for the driver to initiate the wave/acknowledgement. Only then should you wave back.
Rule 3. Under no circumstances should you initiate a wave to a vehicle in a class above your own unless you have been introduced formally to said vehicle and/or driver, and he/she has initiated a wave since that introduction.
Rule 4. Never wave to a vehicle that is two or more classes below your own.
Rule 5. Whatever the circumstance, the wave should consist only of raising the palm from around the steering wheel. Anything more than this will be construed as ostentatious, over-enthusiastic, or just plain common, depending on one’s class.
Rule 6. Under no circumstances allow passengers to wave. They are superfluous and have no right to go waving willy-nilly at motorhome owners.
Rule 7. Never make the mistake of waving/acknowledging a VW T3 with a body kit fitted, no matter how well done. It will be a former Escort XR3 owner - or worse, they may not be married.
Rule 8. In a situation where you are alongside another motorhome, at a junction or traffic lights for instance, always look directly ahead. Avoid furtive glances at the other vehicle, and never ever engage in eye contact with the driver. If you have difficulty in doing this, feign an incoming phone call or pretend to adjust your sound system (wireless) until the lights change.
Rule 9. Never admire another motorhome, or show signs of lust for the vehicle. Showing lust for anybody in the said vehicle is fine as long as it’s legal (unless you are in a controlled environment such as a national motorhome show). If you are on foot, brief glances over the shoulder are permitted, although you should not slow your pace in case you appear overly interested. If you find yourself parked in close proximity to another motorhome, and you see the driver, communication and/or acknowledgement should take place only in strict accordance with rules 1 to 6.
Rule 10. On encountering a motorhome in distress, you should quickly adjust (a) your sun visor, (b) your in-vehicle entertainment, and (c) your heating/air-conditioning controls. By that time you should have passed the said vehicle and will not have to concern yourself. If this is not possible, or if you feel obliged in some way to stop and offer assistance, follow the ‘same class or one below’ rule. (If, for instance, you drive a Swift Bel-Air you should only stop to assist another A-class of similar vintage or a newer C-class - never a converted ambulance or older C-class, heaven forbid a VW T3.) If you ever suffer the misfortune of breaking down, do the decent thing - dive headfirst into a ditch or hedge if you can see that a lower class is about to offer assistance in some way. And finally, you should never offer to assist a vehicle purchased from Brownhills, as the driver, and one passenger, will forego their ‘free’ coffee or/and meal.
I do hope that this has clarified the procedure and we can all get on our way in the confidence that we are doing the right thing.
