Tips for securing hose pipe in filler

Way too complicated and technical. Cava Corks! Its the future!
Apologies, veered off the immature stuff for a moment .
German chap using it this morning. Had to wait alongside until he had finished. Not his fault , before I got to the facilities a Portuguese guy had been there for 2 hours! He was cleaning the interior of his van .
Amazed nobody dug him up
 
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