Ribs to die for, hunters chicken and real ale.... And a broken heart.

My heart goes out to you and your family. It's good that you were able to raise a glass to your Dad as he wished and there'll be plenty more opportunities to honour special moments and memories as time goes on. So many wise words I've read here. For me, those floodgates were like waves crashing onto shore and just when I thought the tide was going and out and things were calming, another giant wave would knock me off my feet... but that will pass, truly. Rob's right too, time doesn't totally heal but has a way of building layer upon layer of new life experiences over the grief to keep it tucked safe inside where it doesn't hurt so much but still keeps the memories and the love alive. I wish you safe journeys, through your grief... and through the snow!
 
Sorry for your loss ..speaking as a 73 year old Dad ..pleased you followed his wish , the best way to honour his memory is Don,t waste a minute of an hour of your days, live your life with his memory and try not to do anything you wouldn't do if he was there.
Good luck .
 
Sorry to hear your news, it’s only when the pass you realise you have lost a library full of living books no one now to ask about the distant memories of early childhood and vague faces and memories of half forgotten times.

Alf
 
So very sorry to hear and echo everyone else's thoughts and wishes.

Found out 3 weeks ago that we have it all to come at some point with Neil's Mum this year, or if very lucky next.

Feels very unreal. Inoperable squamous non small cell lung carcinoma. They should have picked it up 2 years ago when shadow was spotted on lung, but it was never followed up by the medics. She is devasted, we will just have to be there for support when she needs it in any which way we can.

No, you never get over the loss of a loved one, family or close friends, but the fantastic memories stay with you always.

Give him a right good send off then continue to live your life as fully as you possibly can and as best you can cos it's way too short for all of us! xx
 
Alf speaks a lot of truth,I lost my father 8 months ago last surviving parent. A chapter in our life’s closes and another begins ...there is nothing i can say to ease the pain, other than I empathise and thinking of you at this challenging time ,,,,and I was told “ it’s ok to grieve”
 
Thank you for everyone's kind thoughts (and good advice)

It's obviously a bit of a blur at the moment as up until last September Dad was still (at 79 years old) driving walking his dog and working his allotment.
Ohhh and breaking concrete gateposts out for old customers of his...
First symptom was loss of movement in his right arm....
Then balance problems...
Being the stubborn and fiercely independant chap he was, the first I knew was a phone call to go and look after his dog because he had fallen and was in A and E.
He was then admitted and went through test after test, including so many ct scans etc that he almost glowed.
Only after a PAD scan (sp) were enlarged lymph nodes detected in his chest, and biopsy taken just before exmas was small cell lung cancer diagnosed along with by then of Paneoplastic encephalitis (basically the body's own immune system attacking the brain) leading to severe althzeimers like confusion.
He spent the last few months in a local care home looked after a fantastic bunch of folks that truly couldn't have done more for him and kept him very comfortouble whilst myself and my other half visited each day.
Until he very peacefully and painlessly slipped away early Tuesday morning held in our arms and being told how much we loved him....

Painful for us BUT thankfully not for dad....

Thanks again folks you really do help.
 
GinaRon said:
I grieve for your pain, my mum went 9 years ago and I am still grieving BUT I have loving memories of her and when things are bad I talk to her knowing what she would say. Do grieve and remember Men can cry and should.
Click to expand...

I've been very adept at crying over the past few months and especially days....
I'm comforted by the facts we were there for him and that as far as I could tell he didn't suffer...
Sometimes we have to find the brightness in the darkest of places.
 
My mother died shortly after midnight in February 2007, 13 years ago.
She was in a care home at the time and we were with her right to the end.

I will never, ever forget driving home afterwards at around 2:30am.

It was an exceptionally mild night for the time of year and I had the windows down on the car.
Dozens of blackbirds were singing their hearts out at the top of their voices right the way along the route back home, a distance of 13 miles.

It was the strangest experience, but also very uplifting, because I knew my mother was finally at peace.

I'm not scared of dying and I'm not religious.

I just think of all the people we've ever loved, and the millions (billions?) we have never known who have all gone before us.
We're just following in their footsteps.
 
When my mam passed we were with her up until the end and we all talked to her and told her how much we loved and were going to miss her, after they made her comfortable I went by myself (nurses were brilliant) and just lay on the bed next to her and told her I’d miss her terribly afterwards I then went and got the family so they could say their goodbyes, when we all came back to our house there we spoke about remembering the good time and the funny times and yes we laughed because she always said don’t be sad she had a good and fulfilling life sometimes it was hard, but she also loved a party!..
 
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