What is the best, most useful, advice you've been given by other members, either on this site or on a Rally?

Fisherman said:
Why were you giving a sperm sample Ral, we all want to know, ok well I do :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
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30 years ago Bill.
We were trying for a baby and getting nowhere so sought advice from our doctor who gave us optimum dates and told us give it a 'good go'.
After nearly dying of exhaustion we went back and were referred to the 'professionals'. Izzy was checked out and all was ok so it was my turn. I had to give a sperm sample to make sure I wasn't firing blanks.
I was handed a specimen jar [NO, it wasn't thimble size before anyone jumps in:cautious:]. Without being too graphic, I had to pleasure myself and give a specimen. I had no idea how much they needed nor did I want to leave anything on the floor, so I slipped Percy into the jar which was a tight fit. Unfortunately, I didn't think on, the penis becomes engorged when climaxing and the bloomin' jar became firmly fixed. I was bouncing round the room trying to tug the jar off. Oddly, when I looked down it looked like a Dalek.
Anyway, after much tugging and mewling in pain the jar came off!

10 months later we had Louise so all ended well.😊
 
izwozral said:
30 years ago Bill.
We were trying for a baby and getting nowhere so sought advice from our doctor who gave us optimum dates and told us give it a 'good go'.
After nearly dying of exhaustion we went back and were referred to the 'professionals'. Izzy was checked out and all was ok so it was my turn. I had to give a sperm sample to make sure I wasn't firing blanks.
I was handed a specimen jar [NO, it wasn't thimble size before anyone jumps in:cautious:]. Without being too graphic, I had to pleasure myself and give a specimen. I had no idea how much they needed nor did I want to leave anything on the floor, so I slipped Percy into the jar which was a tight fit. Unfortunately, I didn't think on, the penis becomes engorged when climaxing and the bloomin' jar became firmly fixed. I was bouncing round the room trying to tug the jar off. Oddly, when I looked down it looked like a Dalek.
Anyway, after much tugging and mewling in pain the jar came off!

10 months later we had Louise so all ended well.😊
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Ah well I am pleased for you mate, but I did not expect such a detailed answer, I thought you would reply differently, you know with your more usual aplomb.
 
izwozral said:
30 years ago Bill.
We were trying for a baby and getting nowhere so sought advice from our doctor who gave us optimum dates and told us give it a 'good go'.
After nearly dying of exhaustion we went back and were referred to the 'professionals'. Izzy was checked out and all was ok so it was my turn. I had to give a sperm sample to make sure I wasn't firing blanks.
I was handed a specimen jar [NO, it wasn't thimble size before anyone jumps in:cautious:]. Without being too graphic, I had to pleasure myself and give a specimen. I had no idea how much they needed nor did I want to leave anything on the floor, so I slipped Percy into the jar which was a tight fit. Unfortunately, I didn't think on, the penis becomes engorged when climaxing and the bloomin' jar became firmly fixed. I was bouncing round the room trying to tug the jar off. Oddly, when I looked down it looked like a Dalek.
Anyway, after much tugging and mewling in pain the jar came off!

10 months later we had Louise so all ended well.😊
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Did your minister not tell you that self gratification is the path to hell, let me know when you arrive so the kettle will be on. 😂
 
izwozral said:
10 months later we had Louise so all ended well.
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Hopefully not in a Jar Ral.
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How is your swimmer count these days?
 
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Robmac said:
Don't forget where your towel is.
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I'm not likely to forget that one! (.. a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.)

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R4Dent
 
Always leave one leg lower on the awning and dont stand in front when taking it down after rain - so should have listened.

face upwind when lighting a fart.

But the best advice ever, dont think you Mrs winks has run out of food or thankyou's Its not a motorhome its a tardis fridge.
 
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