Xmas punnies

[jagmanx]

No 1
Yesterday morning I made a Belgian waffle.
In the afternoon I made a Frenchman talk bollocks !
Courtesy of Gary Delaney.

No 2 Cracker jokd.
Qu What has gpt big ears and flies ?
Ans A jumbo jet

 

[mariesnowgoose]

Oh no! Don't tell @Tezza33 or we'll be in this thread 'til after New Year ...

 

[argoose]

Why have elephants got big ears?

Because Noddy won't pay the ransom

 

[Wooie1958]

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkley ?

Because if they were small, round and white they be called aspirin.

 

[Caz]

What's yellow and highly dangerous?





Shark infested custard.

 

[jagmanx]

What do you get if you cross a mouse with an elephant ?
Large holes in the skirting board.

a cricket with a wombat ?
a cricket wom !

a lion with a cheetah ?
A fast lying cheating bastard.

A motorhome with a ship ?
A boaterhome

 

[argoose]

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?

Footprints in the butter.

 

[Robmac]

What's White and wears yellow chequered trousers?

Rupert the Fridge.

 

[spigot]

I worked this out from a Christmas Crossword:
Q, What type of pizza does Good King Wenceslas prefer, 4-3-5-3-4
A, Deep Pan Crisp and Even.
Sorry about that

 

[jagmanx]

What variety of Pizza did Vivaldi like ?





4 seasons