what to do now

[steveathome]

hi, my name is steve. we gat the auto trail, apache 700se 6 birth, this time last year. unfortunately I lost my wife not long after we got her. so now I ham at a loss as what to do now. any help or advice most welcome. I would like to keep it as it was our dream. but just does not feel the same when on my own. thanks steve

 

[harrow]

hi, my name is steve. we gat the auto trail, apache 700se 6 birth, this time last year. unfortunately I lost my wife not long after we got her. so now I ham at a loss as what to do now. any help or advice most welcome. I would like to keep it as it was our dream. but just does not feel the same when on my own. thanks steve

Sorry to hear about your wife, it must hurt.

Yes get rid of the camper and move forward.

It would not feel the same on your own.

Still go on holidays but stay in b&b's or travelodge rooms and mix with other people rather than sitting in a bus on your own.

You can always buy another camper in the future if you still want one.

:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:

 

[iwm]

It will get better

Hi Steve

My name is Ian and five years ago I was where you are having lost my wife of 38 years.
I have to admit that in the early days of being alone I was not a happy chap and decided that I really did not want to be on my own.
I joined an internet dating site and after a few false starts I met a really nice lady Sheila who was like minded in that she likes computers, motorhomes, eating out, travelling etc.
I have known her for two years and last year we married.
You and I will never 'replace' our first wives or indeed forget them but I have to admit that the last two years have been very nice indeed.
It might make a difference how old you are ( I met Sheila when I was 67) and how set in your ways you are - compromise is a great thing.
They say that time is a great healer and I have found that to be absolutely true - how you are feeling now will get better.
I didn't get rid of the motorhome immediately and preferred to think about the happy times we had. I have since bought a bigger one with Sheila's help.

Hope this helps

Cheers
IanM

hi, my name is steve. we gat the auto trail, apache 700se 6 birth, this time last year. unfortunately I lost my wife not long after we got her. so now I ham at a loss as what to do now. any help or advice most welcome. I would like to keep it as it was our dream. but just does not feel the same when on my own. thanks steve

 

[GWAYGWAY]

Stick with it, and go to places with other people. It is lonely by yourself but some of us are lonely with a partner. Get out go smaller sized, and meet people, DO NOT sit and mope it causes even more problems. Life will become good again, promise.

 

[jagmanx]

Maybe Downsize

Downsize slightly to another vehicle.
Make sure it is still big enough for comfort.
But PVC based vehicles are easier to drive and park when you do not have a "second pair of eyes".

I expect your vehicle has a fixed bed and that would be important for me as well as decent shower and toilet.

We have a 3 burner hob but only ever use 2 at a time so that is another thought.

Best wishes

 

[silverweed]

Carry on with the motorhome for a while and possibly keep your eyes open for a downsize but live the dream you both had. It may not be the same on your own, nothing possibly will be for some time but it was a good plan you both had made and there is no burning need to change it

 

[n brown]

get a dog , you'll miss your wife's companionship and it will help to have a fellow traveller who's pleased to see you and with whom you can share your random thoughts

 

[Obanboy666]

I went through the same scenario as you 5 years ago.
My wife and I had retirement planned, new 4 x 4 and caravan on the horizon but a year from our joint retirement date she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at 54 years age.
We immediately went out and bought the 4 x 4 and caravan and had a great 2 years of travelling between numerous operations and chemo until she finally succumbed to the cancer 5 years ago.
I left the caravan gathering dust for 4 months until I decided to sell it. The thought of using it on my own was unimaginable, it brought back to many memories of my wife and I just couldn't face it.
Some time later a friend persuaded me to go tent camping to the lakes and I enjoyed it that much it got me thinking about firstly another caravan, the thought of arsing on reversing it etc without a second pair of eyes quickly turned me to motorhomes.
I have to say it was the best decision I could have made. Easily manageable on my own and wild camping is wonderful.
I have to say it wasn't and still isn't on occasions easy visiting places that we spent time at as a couple but as others have mentioned time is a great healer.
I split my time between wilding and CS sites where I always make conversation with fellow motorhome users and the site owners.
I tend to get down in the dumps at home and find heading off for a few nights away with the dog perks me up no ends.
You will make your mind up eventually about your present motorhome, I won't offer advise in respect of selling it or not but whatever you decide good luck in the future.

 

[jeanette]

hi, my name is steve. we gat the auto trail, apache 700se 6 birth, this time last year. unfortunately I lost my wife not long after we got her. so now I ham at a loss as what to do now. any help or advice most welcome. I would like to keep it as it was our dream. but just does not feel the same when on my own. thanks steve

Just a suggestion for you why not try the Motorhome for now maybe not at this moment but later on and that will probably tell you if you want to keep your MH or downsize,it also become a full member on here and go to some meets near where you live,to meet a few like minded people..ie: Motorhomers As been said time is a great healer( I know)! And I'm sorry to hear about your wife

 

[Deleted member 207]

I was in the same position as you a few years ago, but decided to keep the van that my wife and I had travelled around Europe in for 9 months in 2007. Whilst it has a few sad memories for me, it also has some great and happy ones. I doubt that I will ever sell it, maybe a funeral pyre for me!!!

Give it time to get over the grief and the sense of loss before you do anything that you may come to regret later. Grief is a hard thing, everyone is different how they cope, what they need, who they need.

 

[Deleted member 11999]

My partner of 22 years died from lung cancer in November 2014. It was initially as if the world had ended for me. I barely ventured out for six months and thought seriously about getting rid of the camper - having owned one for 19 years.
Fortunately I also owned a dog, a lab called Poppy, who needed walking every day. My fellow dog walkers and family kept me going and although my partner will never be forgotten I began to get my life back on track.
I went away for a long weekend in the camper and survived it. People are just as friendly and you can mix as much or as little as you want. Next up was three weeks in France, back to Mortagne where we used to live and still had friends who welcomed Poppy and me.
I now go away regularly and we have a great time. So don't give up on it too soon. There are lots of potential good companions out there and Poppy is a really good ice breaker when meeting new people.
Good luck for the future.

 

[brucews]

Steve, as you can see, there is plenty of support from people that have suffered similar things to you; clearly it will be difficult for you, but time will help, and the support from friends will be invaluable during your more difficult times. Whatever you decide doesn't really matter, it's making a decision that helps you to move on, and retain the happy memories that you have. Good luck with your future.

 

[StevenJ]

I also lost my wife of 28 years (aged 48 ) to cancer 4 1/2 years ago , our dream was to get a mh , however it was an unfulfilled dream for us.

I bought mine 3 years ago and have travelled on my own and with friends , I have since met my present partner who enjoys the freedom of motorhoming but until she gets used to it we are just using C&CC CL's to give her a bit of confidence to wild camp.

It's each to their own as to how you deal with things but I think using CL's is great as a confidence booster not to mention feeling safer when you are a lone traveller.
Losing your best friend is an awful place to be but as others have mentioned time does heal , as Mr Brown suggested consider getting a dog , it gives you a reason to get up and get out of the four walls.

Sorry about your loss , keep your chin up , look after yourself and try to look forward.

 

[Debs]

Hi Steve, on June 30th, it will be exactly 5 years since I lost my husband, I was also his carer as he was severely disabled. We travelled all over Europe in our vans and had a most fantastic time. It took me 2 years before I started to pick myself up and eventually I got back into motor homing. It still wasn't the same without my Robert and it never will be, but I now have a rescue dog who needs a lot of love and looking after, and he has made a huge difference to my life, so give yourself time to grieve, and take things slowly, as has been said, time is a great healer. I wish you well. :goodluck:

 

[Deleted member 68397]

Sorry to hear of your loss but keep the dream...

hi, my name is steve. we gat the auto trail, apache 700se 6 birth, this time last year. unfortunately I lost my wife not long after we got her. so now I ham at a loss as what to do now. any help or advice most welcome. I would like to keep it as it was our dream. but just does not feel the same when on my own. thanks steve

We don't know you Steve but our advice would be to maintain your dreams and your intentions at least for a few months.
I'm sure there are many individuals on this site and others similar who have also lost their partner and they enjoy and look forward to meeting like minded individuals with a motorhome.
You would be made most welcome by many, I'm sure. Maybe put your Wildcamper logo in the window as a indication or conversation opener.
If the dream was one you shared equally, you may be surprised how much you can still enjoy the friendship and lifestyle.
Good luck and take good care of yourself.
Slainte, Growlie and Littlepony

 

[Deleted member 64209]

Stick with it, and go to places with other people. It is lonely by yourself but some of us are lonely with a partner. Get out go smaller sized, and meet people, DO NOT sit and mope it causes even more problems. Life will become good again, promise.

'Some of us are lonely with a partner', well that struck a very loud chord with me that's for sure! Time heals all.

 

[Channa]

Life throws stressful things at us all from time to time, but you've suffered one of the worst.
My advice is to remember that life does go on, that it will get better but it will take a year or two. In the meantime, you are not in a good position to make good decisions.
So for now, I suggest that you keep the motorhome, see how it goes for a year or two, then reassess the situation.

Good advice HD,

Channa

 

[Deleted member 64209]

Another old thread resurrected!
and with no further input from the opening poster!

Oh dear, perhaps this might be a 'Doris Stokes' job to get in touch now :-0