3 things to think about - if they want you, they will get you, but sometimes once they have you they don’t know what to do.
I. Going along an autoroute on my way home, I noticed a police car pull out onto the road ahead of me and so I hung back, I was then waved on by a policeman and encouraged to ‘‘make progress” with a cheery wave. I half expected to get a pull, but as I was 2 up and loaded on the Busa, perhaps he was an enthusiast.
2. I shared a ferry trip with a half dozen chaps who were on their way home from Le Mans. They told me how they were being held up by a scruffy old Renault (nothing unusual there) and whistled past only to be pulled a little way along. The cop couldn’t believe his eyes, he stopped 4 F40 Ferraris and 1 F50, all of them with radar detectors. All confiscated along with a €750 fine for speeding and €750 for the radar. It was a Ferrari meet they will remember for a long time. Tut tut crazy car drivers
3. Finally, September 1999, a date blazed into my memory. We had a bit of an altercation with an officious payage operator just off the Route de Soleil. When I say we, I mean something like 50 bikes. As it was Bol D’or weekend all of the autoroutes were free for bikes to get on. However we weren’t being allowed to exit halfway as that particular payage wasn’t going to be opened until 1pm. It was now 11am. We protested, she said “non”. So we broke through the barriers by lifting them - she tried to close each one we opened but couldn’t close them all fast enough. We got through. So we continued our ride through the Ardeche gorge and had a lovely time. Until exiting one village 5 of us were stopped by armed police, as in one hand up in the air and the other on the gun. We stopped. They told us we were speeding. They had no equipment with them, just a meat wagon and a couple of squad cars. We were escorted back up into the hills to the gendarmerie to meet the inspector. Now this is a bit of a long story, so I’ll cut it a little shorter. PC le flic told the inspector we had been doing 174 in a 50 (110 in a 30) and he wanted us processed. This is where it got a little confusing for one and all. We couldn’t be processed for that speed, they weren’t allowed to fine us and send us on our way, we needed to be locked up and sent to court. They couldn’t lock up 10 of us, we all had pillions, they had no room. They spoke no ‘English naturellement, and so I acted as interpreter in pidgin Franglais. The inspector spent a long time on the phone to his bosses to enquire what to do. He couldn’t keep us and couldn’t let us go. Very confusing. We were kept in the gendarmerie in a beautiful hot sunny day, the girls stayed out and sunbathed and we were left wondering what was going to happen next - confiscation of the bikes was foremost to our minds. Common sense seemed to prevail after many hours and we were now getting rather hungry as well. Anyway the upshot of it was we were all required to pay a “deposit” on a fine of 1000fr - CASH - we were also served with a ‘convocation’ ie a summons to appear in court to answer the charge of speeding recklessly. Once we’d paid up our 1000fr each we were sent on our way to the hotel in Cannes still a few hundred miles away. We got there well after 11pm and rather tired. I had the last laugh though, I nicked the ashtray off the inspector’s desk
. A couple of months later I received a fine from France for not showing up in court for another 2500fr. Now as I was going to france a couple of times a year I paid up by personal cheque, drawn on my English bank which hopefully would mean they ended up paying any transaction fees at their end.