The Bet

[Coolasluck]

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"



"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"



"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."



"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."






"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."



The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?".......

 

[busydaffodil]

I've heard a slightly different ending to that one.

Man walks back into the bar after removing Dog's tooth & asks where the 90 yr old virgin is.

Barman says "HE'S upstairs"

 

[duncananderson]

this is a true story

a long time ago i used to work in certain pub. there was an old man who came in every night, for a couple of beers, followed by his little dog. the pub had a massive refurb and one of them swingy auotomatic shutting doors was installed. the old man came in followed by his lovely wee dog. unfortunatly as the wee dog came in the door shut and cut his tail off. we was all alarmed cos we all loved that wee dog. the old man took the dog home and nursed him lovingly as you would. the landlord tidied up at the end of night, found the tail and chucked it in the skip.
a few days later the dog most sadly died. that night about 3 o`clock in the morning the landlord was awoken by a ghostly wailing outside, woooooh woooooh. he stuck his head out of the window and saw the ghost of the poor wee dog." whooo whooo" said the ghostly dog," please please give me my tail back , i cant go to heaven till i get my tail back." the nasty landlord said, " i am awfully sorry sir but THE LAW does not allow me to re-tail spriits after hours. "
needless to say, cos i hate jobsworths, and i love most dogs i resigned, my poor kids had to eat baked beans for a week until i found a job with a much nicer boss. or so i thought but thats a different story. lots a love and happy camping DEE DIDDLY DEE