stupid things what i have done

n brown

n brown

Full Member
Posts
23,492
Likes
63,461
come on you lot,confession time.i'll start; after fitting out the van we did a nice long tour round france,wild camping all the way in lots of rural places.we'd been back a few weeks when i noticed the rear offside sill was showing nasty rust spots all over it,but only this one panel.strange but annoying. then my wife asked me where the sink waste came out as she wanted to see if the new container fitted....in a rush i had drilled the hole in the floor of the sink cupboard,fed the waste pipe into it and moved on to the next job. had to drill a hole in the sill to let all that french dishwater out!
strangely when i took it in for an mot the young apprentice there was working on a car,touched the wrong wire and the car shot forward into my van,exactly where it was rusted.their bodywork boys brought it up like new.lovely job!
another short one,we moved to a rural area where the farmer would put a rope made of cowpat encrusted bits of old baling twine across the exit road when he moved his herd.disgusting thing to undo.i'll show this yokel i think,and making a large hook out of steel rod,tied it onto a nice new bit if blue rope,attached it to one side of the gap. i was still feeling pleased at my cleverness the next morning as i drove through it,didn't see the rope and the twanging hook took my windscreen out
 
Started off with a Toad on the back and had left the handbrake on! Fortunately at home with a long gravel drive and wife spotted it.

Peter
 
The moral of this story is remember what is in your pocket! Many years ago when I was 19 I had the habit of folding £1 notes in 4 -> so
of course one day in a bar I handed the lady behind the bar in her early sixties a durex by mistake as payment for a drink.... biggest red face I ever had lol...
 
Whlist out on my travels I like to pick lots of stuff from the hedgerows...wild raspberries, strawberries, mushrooms, sea beet ect. One day three years ago when I was cycling around the Gower in late April, I came across a big clump of early Comfrey. This is gorgeous in a stew...it thickens it and tastes a lot like spinach. It's good for you too.....or so I thought!
So I stuffed a load of it into a plastic container and later bunged it in a lamb curry, wolfed it down in no time at all but wondered why it tasted a little bitter. Anyway about nine in the evening I started throwing up and just couldn't stop. I was up all night drinking water...it just came straight back. In the morning I was still retching, couldn't keep anything down and started having dizzy spells. After feeling a bit better I decided to drive on to where I was due to start the next day's cycling. The dizzy spells came on again and along with them came the chest pain:scared:
I stopped in a layby.... I noticed a Llanelli Scarlets sign advertising a match to be played on the Wednesday (the day before)....so I put the bed down and tried to get some sleep. after what seemed like a fitful couple of hours I woke and saw the same sign advertising a different match on Saturday, which got me thinking ...Oh bugger I must have lost three days.
Anyway, drove on a bit more toward Burry Port and the dizziness is getting worse, so is the chest pain..and I have those "helicopters" you sometimes see at the edge of your vision. By now I don't really know what I'm doing or where I'm going but I can relate the chest pain to something going wrong with the old ticker. I decide to pull over and call 999. The paramedics were marvellous, gave me some aspirin and spayed some stuff under my tongue then took me off to hospital in Camarthen....I didn't get a nee-naw or a blue light!
Turns out what I'd eaten was Foxglove! Full of digitoxin and digoxins and can be fatal if you eat enough. They told me I'd suffered a mild heart attack!
Obviously if either plant had been in flower I would not have made the idiotic mistake. Both Comfrey and Foxglove have almost identical leaves, though they could be told apart by the difference in the downy underside of the leaves if I'd consulted the pocket guide I had on me at the time...doh!!..... and the curry was bitter....double doh!! Don't ever eat any thing that's bitter if it's not supposed to be!
 
A few years ago we were travelling through Spain & Madam was moaning that she had not seen any Spanish ladies wearing the traditional Mantilla.

One day while walking in Barcelona we noticed a group of elegantly dressed ladies, accompanied by gentlemen in full rig complete with silk cloaks entering a church.
Now’s our chance say’s I. Outside the entrance was a 6.2, 16stone doorman elegantly dressed. Doorman, I thought, bit strange I thought, but in we went.

We had asked in previous churches about non flash photos & been given the nod so we started clicking away as we walked towards the front.

Now I am quite happy to accept that I may not be the brightest star in the heavens at times, but even I suddenly realised that we were getting some very curious looks from the assembled horde.
It suddenly dawned on me that we were in the middle of a funeral. I started to retreat as subtly as possible while madam blissfully continued clicking away until I gave her a, not so gentle nudge & we got out.

The doorman gave me a look that indicated I had just crawled out from under his shoes as we rapidly scarpered down the street.

Such is life.

Dezi :cheers:
 
Apart from marrying my first wife then sticking it out for 30 yrs??

When I worked for BT I put my ladders on the rack and shot away as it was late, in a line of cars, one slammed on the brakes and so did I. The van stopped but the ladders didn't and piled into the rear window of the car in front. The driver leapt out in a rage, it was my boss!!

Plus loads of other things that only get admitted when I'm drunk!!
 
Reminds me of a phone in on BFBS many years ago - "Stupid things I have done" - the winner was the guy who was doing some work on his roof, being sensible he threw a rope over the roof to tie himself to in case he slipped. Unfortunately the only solid object he could find to tie off the other end to was the towball on his car (can you see where this is going?). Yep - it was all going well until his wife decided to go shopping down town...
 
Don't know if anyone else has done this, my first big trip last year and I stopped somewhere in a village street for a cuppa. Lovely hot day, lovely little village but I needed to move on, off I sets and only gone about 2 street when a woman I almost decapitaed with my open kitchen window screamed and me to stop :scared:

Taught me to do a walk round every time I set off though.
 
Haaamster said:
Don't know if anyone else has done this, my first big trip last year and I stopped somewhere in a village street for a cuppa. Lovely hot day, lovely little village but I needed to move on, off I sets and only gone about 2 street when a woman I almost decapitaed with my open kitchen window screamed and me to stop :scared:

Taught me to do a walk round every time I set off though.
Click to expand...

How about:

driving off with the hook-up cable still plugged in;
driving off with the satellite dish still up;
reversing over the wife's bike;
leaving the cap to the fresh water tank neatly perched on a wall in an aire in France and only discovering this when we stopped for the night at the next aire;
or leaving half a cup of coffee on the table before setting off (half a cup of coffee goes a hell of a long way!).

Not that I've done any of these things, you understand. :rolleyes:
 
Ah yes the water cap, done that and had to drive around for 6 months with a green temporary one which sploshed water at every roundabout. The look on peoples faces who think it's leaking fuel :rolleyes2:

Not done the coffee one yet though I do tend to collect little sachets of salt, pepper, tomato ketchup etc from McDonalds and such places cos you never know when you run out. My big footed mate managed to squash a tub of mayonaisse in my cab the other day :mad:
 
Last edited:
Assumption is the start of all F*!K ups. Like when I was fitting the panelling to the inside of my van after insulating it and assuming that the wiring loom would be routed in the same position down both sides of the van and driving a self tapping screw through my rear indicator wiring.

Had to re run the new cable along the underside of the chassis as there was no way other than completely stripping the cab and living area.

I was also given the incorrect length strops to use on my safety harness at work and hit the ground before the strops had chance to break my fall. Luckily I landed on me head so no damage done.

Squibby.
 
John H said:
How about:

driving off with the hook-up cable still plugged in;
driving off with the satellite dish still up;
reversing over the wife's bike;
leaving the cap to the fresh water tank neatly perched on a wall in an aire in France and only discovering this when we stopped for the night at the next aire;
or leaving half a cup of coffee on the table before setting off (half a cup of coffee goes a hell of a long way!).

Not that I've done any of these things, you understand. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Water cap (with keys in) left on the van roof. Remembered where I'd left them after we'd driven 15 miles and boarded the Skye ferry. Amazingly they were still there... after this I fitted a restraint cable to the cap.
 
Not MH related:

20 years ago we rented a car in the USA. One day we stopped at National Park on the west coast, only to realize that the camera bag, containing video camera + hubby's wallet, was missing. We immediately knew that we had left it were we had lunch, a hamburger restaurant about an hour or two south, and for some reason I remembered both the name of the place and the name of the town (Oceanview, will never forget that name). The lady at the entrance of the park helped us call, and to our surprise the bag was still there, and everything in it. We lost a couple of hours, but got all our stuff back :dance:
 
pulled up behind a couple of cars at a 't' junction that is often difficult to get out when busy,but the front car was particularly timid,i was getting more and more irate,saying to my wife' christ how big a gap does this twat need?if he doesn't go soon i'm going to pull round the idiot,' as i said this,the car behind me suddenly pulled out to do the same thing,so i followed ,turning to glare at===a pair of empty parked cars!
 
Oops....

I stowed the table for my old hymer's rear lounge in the pull down bed above the cab. Ingenious. Drove about 20ft, went over a speed bump -:rolleyes2: table shot forward and out the windscreen....
 
Just hold my beer a minutes Lads & watch this !!!

Notagoodidea.jpg


Dezi :pc:
 
no-stupid-people.jpg

:ditto::ditto::ditto::ditto:

That's us excluded ...........................:sleep-040::sleep-040:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who viewed this discussion (Total:0)

Back
Top