Kitchen nightmares

kimbowbill

kimbowbill

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tonight i made myself a fried rice dish, using up all the bits n bobs out of the fridge, made a big pan, it wo comin on a treat, last ingredient, a splash of soy sauce, not the entire bottle, as i shaked the bottle the lid came off :scared:, bread and jam for tea.

whats your kitchen nightmare?, and dont say the wife, :lol-053:
 
Oh, what an awful shame! Poor you. I once made a beautiful quiche in my best fancy flan dish for a party, then dropped it and broke the dish as I lifted it out of the oven.
 
I am a member of Weight Watchers and for dinner tonigh I made a "leftover lamb pilaff" and I was following the instructions to the letter. I cooked the veggies and rice in the vegtable stock for 20 minutes like the recipe said only to find that the rice was not cooked. 30 minutes later the rice was still Al Dente but after a total of 50 minutes the veggies were turning to mush! We ate al dente rice !!!
 
awwwww :lol-053: still edible tho, especially on them diets, always blooming hungry
 
decided to have chicken shoarma but found i'd run out of mayo,soon knock some up.after doing all my eggs,the olive oil ran out and all i got was some horrible runny yellow stuff,so we had salad cream on it.eeuuch!
 
In the 70's when Garlic was a new fangled foreign food, we saw them in Sainsburys, along side was a leaflet telling you what to do with them.

One was: crush one clove of garlic into butter and spread onto hot toast.

One clove only looked small and the way I crushed it it didn't mix very well with the butter, so I added a total of six cloves.

This foreign food tasted great esp after just melting on the toast.

Next day there was an exclusion zone around my work place!! Even my pores smelled of garlic!

Second Faux Pas: At the same time these new fangled chillies were about, I was in Leicester at the time and saw them in an Indian shop. You add to food when cooking they said, I'll have a pound said I. With rolling eyes the shop keeper advised only about 6 small ones.

Firstly I was working under the bonnet fixing the car (as you frequently did in those days) my wife of the time said, here taste this and put a small piece in my mouth. I jumped up with the burning in my mouth, hit the bonnet with my head and it slammed down on my fingers. So Chilli hurt in three places at once.

The dish was inedible, even the dog turned his nose up at it and he'd eat anything.

We live and learn!!
 
as a lad I walked into the kitchen to find a silver foil lid with cream on it lying on the table, I thought to myself "swoop" and licked it before someone said it was theirs only to find out that was the lid from my late fathers "Brylcream" fo his wavy hair ! another time (never learnt) I walked in to find 6 peanuts on the sofa arm and once again "swoop" into my waiting gob they went, my wife then entered the room with dustpan and brush asking who had moved the nuts that she had found down the back of the sofa (from Xmas).

"Swooping" is an art and should only be practised by adults.... be warned !
 
My kitchen nightmare will be over today hopefully, not a foody one but my blooming tiling.
Only 9 more tiles to go but every one has to be cut and nibbled away at for about an hour each.
Only broke 6 this morning 2 right on the last nibble and running short of tiles.:mad1:
 
i remember askin mi mam once if a could lick the bowl NO she said flush chain like everbody else :)

ok puttin mi coat on
 
I am the world,s worst cook even the dog turns his nose up my cuisine, the poor sod was once sick when he scoffed some half frozen chips I made. If ever you see himbenny ask about the so called lamb casserole I made for him it was still BAH BAH ing when I took it out of the oven, to say it was aneamic is an understatement, Of all the sh*** I have dished up over the years that has to be the worst !!.......:(
 
my kitchen nightmare is just having to go in there!:scared: Mr Lotty is the chef in our house, we'd starve if I had to do it :lol-053:
 
not me but my dad. He complained to my mum that these new fancy biscuits are too dry and crumbly and not to get them anymore. Turned out he ate the cat biscuits :lol-053:
should have gone to specsavers....
 
Haaamster said:
My kitchen nightmare will be over today hopefully, not a foody one but my blooming tiling.
Only 9 more tiles to go but every one has to be cut and nibbled away at for about an hour each.
Only broke 6 this morning 2 right on the last nibble and running short of tiles.:mad1:
Click to expand...

Soak your tiles first
 
Haaamster said:
Is this a proper tip or are you tricking me?
And if it is where were you when I needed you this morning :hammer:
Click to expand...

No trick Haaamster. It really works. The wetness of the tile won't affect the cement either.
 
Bigpeetee said:
Firstly I was working under the bonnet fixing the car (as you frequently did in those days) my wife of the time said, here taste this and put a small piece in my mouth. I jumped up with the burning in my mouth, hit the bonnet with my head and it slammed down on my fingers. So Chilli hurt in three places at once.

We live and learn!!
Click to expand...

And I bet it was 4 places eventually!
 
I remember once at home when we were having a curry, my father decided he wanted his hotter so crushed a couple of very hot chillie peppers on top of his meal. All was fine until he decided to go for a pee later and let out an enormous yell!! The moral of this story is - if you have handled chillies, wash your hands BEFORE you go to the loo!!!!!
 
Oasis said:
I remember once at home when we were having a curry, my father decided he wanted his hotter so crushed a couple of very hot chillie peppers on top of his meal. All was fine until he decided to go for a pee later and let out an enormous yell!! The moral of this story is - if you have handled chillies, wash your hands BEFORE you go to the loo!!!!!
Click to expand...

Your post reminds me of my nan telling me about my grandad who was a hot headed geordie lad. One night before getting into bed he asked my nan where his pile cream was and she replied on top of the wardrobe....he fumbled in the darkness on top of the wardobe and he thought he found his cream and proceeded to apply only to for my nan to hear an almighty screams and cursing in his loud geordie accent ...........he had only applied 'FIERY JACKS' rubbing ointment !!!!..... must of burnt his backside to a crisp :lol-061: I was told he sat in a cold bath for two days !!!!!!
 
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