Sounds as though the two batteries are connected together all the time. Usually a 'split charge relay' prevents this but some older vans such as 87 Pilote had a switch that you have to operate manually.
Has to be a switch somewhere to seperate the two systems. Mine is a manual switch, on when travelling to charge up, off when static to save leisure battery from flattening the starter battery.
Son in law's is an electronic switch on the control panel.
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