delicate matters

didds

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if this is a FAQ - sorry... just point me to it if so.

So you are parked up for the night wherever it may be. And in the middle of the night you need a pee.

what do people actually do with motorhomes/campervans that are toiletless? Presuming you are not parked by a public loo (and having read enough about madeira drive to put me off going near a public convenience in west sussex!)... what is the "protocol" ?

Do people keep a large plastic bottle with a wide top in the vehicle to use? Is is a surriptitious "down the side of the van not to make a spashing noise" furtive job?

Just wondering!

ian
 
My loo is effectively just a good strong bucket with tight fitting lid (it's actually a 20L white plastic paint pot) but I try to only use it as a last resort. If the weather is vile and I'm still half asleep, or I'm in an urban environment, I use my loo. If I'm out in the middle of nowhere, or in a quiet, dark rural spot, and it's not lashing down or freezing, I usually just do exactly what the dog does.... I nip outside, and just do it usually in a bit of scrub or shrubbery, although I've done it roadside behind the van where I judge it's safe to do so.

Nobody thinks twice about a dog or any other animal weeing in the countryside, so on a one-off occasion, what's the difference between dog and human? If more than a wee is required, then it's a case of grabbing my folding trowel or dog poo bags (for anything non bio-degradable). I'm used to having to carry the dog's waste in carrier bags until I find a suitable bin and so I do the same for human waste and dispose of it in the same way, unless it was buried at the spot.
 
cheers all... I had meant when one is parked up in a more urban environment, or surrounded by other motorhomes../. normally a bush is quite good enough for me (or just where I stand normally (>5m from the van/tent door !) )... just didn;twant to break any etiquette when sharing a country layby with another van say .

Paul Masson... god there's an 80s throwback!

didds
 
I use a bucket with a lid,but I use gelling cat litter in the bucket and the pee 'gels' the wee it then is spill proof and can be disposed in a bin liner,like a babies nappy. Even with my all singing Hymer, I use this method at festivals especially when drink is involved!
 
sasquatch said:
I use a bucket with a lid,but I use gelling cat litter in the bucket and the pee 'gels' the wee it then is spill proof and can be disposed in a bin liner,like a babies nappy. Even with my all singing Hymer, I use this method at festivals especially when drink is involved!
Click to expand...

I did initially experiment with wood shavings / sawdust but this means I can't really empty my bucket down my sewer when I get home. So now I don't use anything at all in my bucket which means that if necessary I can empty it in an isolated location every day or 2, and it's no worse than half a dozen dogs weeing on the same tree. I try to minimise use of loo roll so that I am simply emptying liquid and no solids. I need to experiment having some sort of sieve / grill (a round wire baking tray?) inside my bucket so that any loo roll is retained whilst the liquid is emptied. The loo roll can then be buried if necessary.

If it was the dead of night, even in a layby with another van or at a festival or meet, I'd have a good look outside and so long as I was happy that no one was around and that I'd be hidden from view behind the van, I would (and have) just nipped outside. This does very much depend on weather though and whether I'm staying in the location for more than one night. If its rainy I have no compunctions about weeing close to the van as it'll be gone by morning, but if it's warm and dry and I'm planning to stay longer then I'd go further afield, maybe 12 foot away in a dark shadow / cover.

Bear in mind that it's quicker and more discreet for a man to have a quick wee than it is for a woman (I must start practicing using my Shewee ;) ) so I'd say go for it. And let's face it, if anyone comes across you, they're are going to be just as startled and embarrassed as you, and the chances are that they have the same purpose in mind!

I reckon any non-spill container inside the van is essential and to be honest, a wide neck bottle is ideal as it could then be emptied easily and surrupticiously at your next visit to a proper loo. And all you need is some Milton or Steradent tablets, pop one in, fill with water, give it a good shake, leave 10 mins then empty water and all clean and disinfected.

But I must admit, one of my favourite things about my van is being able to sit on my loo and enjoy the surroundings either through the windscreen or, if remote enough, through the open side door. Tis one of life's little luxuries :D
 
We used to carry a potty - well we had young kids anyway.

But do be careful, my Mum was caught short at Staithes one day, so we showed her the potty & left her in the van. Being quite elderly, her balance wasn't that good, and she leaned back on the rear doors for support. Sadly, she had not thought to lock them first.

We heard the door creak as it opened & then saw Mum roll over backwards with her knickers around her ankles in a perfect back somersault with the potty in her hand. At least we didn't need to surreptitiously empty the potty for her, she did that herself as she went. Fortunately she wasn't seriously hurt, just rather shaken (but not stirred!) and some 30 years later, the incident remains a treasured part of family folk lore, even being recounted at her funeral.

Plastic bags in a bucket are one possible solution & the bags can be sealed until you are able to empty it into a loo. Basic porta potties can be kept in a cupboard if you have one. It's easy for bloke to have a wee in the bushes in remote locations, but I know Mrs Smaug feels very exposed & gets rather nervous when required to do that.
 
Over the years I have been caught out with a full toilet cassette and have resorted to the following.

Drain off some of the liquid contents ....... but only in a remote location.

Use a plastic bag in the toilet to poo in and wrap up afterwards. This was disposed of in the dog poo bins (fortunately local).

Now I carry a folding shovel but I would not dig a hole on a roundabout at a busy junction. :raofl:

The longer you wildcamp, the less you get caught out with a full toilet.
 
maingate said:
Over the years I have been caught out with a full toilet cassette and have resorted to the following.

Drain off some of the liquid contents ....... but only in a remote location.

Use a plastic bag in the toilet to poo in and wrap up afterwards. This was disposed of in the dog poo bins (fortunately local).

Now I carry a folding shovel but I would not dig a hole on a roundabout at a busy junction. :raofl:

The longer you wildcamp, the less you get caught out with a full toilet.
Click to expand...

Why not carry a spare cassette? I got a second hand one off e-bay for about 30 squid, it just sits in the shower tray ready for instant swop over if the loo is full. I can then carry the full one for a day or two until I find a safe emptying point. Even on a camp site it is handy to just do an instant swop over & leave the full one under the van until it is convenient to go & empty it.
 
didds said:
if this is a FAQ - sorry... just point me to it if so.

So you are parked up for the night wherever it may be. And in the middle of the night you need a pee.

what do people actually do with motorhomes/campervans that are toiletless? Presuming you are not parked by a public loo (and having read enough about madeira drive to put me off going near a public convenience in west sussex!)... what is the "protocol" ?

Do people keep a large plastic bottle with a wide top in the vehicle to use? Is is a surriptitious "down the side of the van not to make a spashing noise" furtive job?

Just wondering!

ian
Click to expand...

What height are the windows at?

Just a thought..
 
As an ex service you have to " go for a shovel recce" don't bury the evidence, because if the enemy find it, it will give them vital information e.g. strength, position, types of rations.
 
Shatterproof screwtop carafes were on sale earlier this year in Sainsburys and are also ideal for mixing Pimms in :)

900027772_0_9999_med_v1_m56577569830845027.jpg

For a friends 50th I got him a special non tip camping carafe graduated for easy cocktail mixing that was going spare when I was helping clear out a garage at a care home.

AA2632Y.jpg
 
Smaug said:
Why not carry a spare cassette? I got a second hand one off e-bay for about 30 squid, it just sits in the shower tray ready for instant swop over if the loo is full. I can then carry the full one for a day or two until I find a safe emptying point. Even on a camp site it is handy to just do an instant swop over & leave the full one under the van until it is convenient to go & empty it.
Click to expand...

That is certainly an option to consider and we have talked about needing a new one (either that or buy new seals for the old one). :p Our shower tray is full of dog stuff but we do have ample storage space elsewhere.

The thing is, it is extremely rare to get in the situation of being desperate for an emptying point and the folding shovel takes up less space than a spare cassette. I have only needed it once to bury the contents. We have got into the habit of mixing C&CC THS sites with wildcamping, so the need is less anyway. We regard a toilet emptying point and a plentiful supply of water as a bit of luxury. I also have saved the website, which I believe you put on here, with information about British marinas. I have not needed it yet but it is a very good option for waste disposal and fresh water supply.
 
A Wee word from the wise

It amused me that this thread was on the Activity stream ....Very appropriate !

Reminded us of the time we were bumbling up a long rough track to see some 5000 year old caves in a cliff face near Murcia ,Spain.

We were behind a battered old Rover 213 ,driven by a diminutive but wide lady ,at a steady 12 mph , keeping a safe 10 metre distance . All of a sudden she j:wacko::wacko:erked to a halt ,flung open the door , tumbled out of the car while dragging her Knickers down with one hand and bundling her long skirt up with the other . We were treated to the full view of her large, white Posteria as she peed copiously . I said "The moon's rising early tonight !"
Without looking Back she unbundled , hitched up and hopped back into the car .

The question that we both asked was " Why did she pee on our side of the open door and not go round to the front side ?"

Funny chaps those Senoras !:wacko:
 
Smaug said:
We used to carry a potty - well we had young kids anyway.

But do be careful, my Mum was caught short at Staithes one day, so we showed her the potty & left her in the van. Being quite elderly, her balance wasn't that good, and she leaned back on the rear doors for support. Sadly, she had not thought to lock them first.

We heard the door creak as it opened & then saw Mum roll over backwards with her knickers around her ankles in a perfect back somersault with the potty in her hand. At least we didn't need to surreptitiously empty the potty for her, she did that herself as she went. Fortunately she wasn't seriously hurt, just rather shaken (but not stirred!) and some 30 years later, the incident remains a treasured part of family folk lore, even being recounted at her funeral.

Plastic bags in a bucket are one possible solution & the bags can be sealed until you are able to empty it into a loo. Basic porta potties can be kept in a cupboard if you have one. It's easy for bloke to have a wee in the bushes in remote locations, but I know Mrs Smaug feels very exposed & gets rather nervous when required to do that.
Click to expand...

thanks for that. I havn"t laughed so much for ages. nearly wet myself.:lol-049: glad your mum was ok.
 
Whitevanwoman,we always use a seperate carrier bag in the bathroom to put any toilet paper in - it's what the Greeks do as their plumbing can't cope with anything other than "natural" waste.The contents of the bag usually get burnt on a beach fire.
 
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