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  1. Mrs Mossy

    Two old men go into a whore house.

    The head prostitute tells the new girl to put a couple of blow up dolls in their beds and take out the bulbs of their lamps. "They pretty much blind anyway" she explained. Later that night, the first old man comes down the stairs looking worried. "I think the woman I'm with is dead?" "Why?"...
  2. Mrs Mossy

    Hello everyone.

    Welcome and enjoy from Lancashire
  3. Mrs Mossy

    Hey all!

    Welcome and enjoy
  4. Mrs Mossy

    Hi From Portsmouth

    Welcome and enjoy from Lancashire
  5. Mrs Mossy

    Hi from a new-ish one

    Welcome aboard and enjoy, form Lancashire
  6. Mrs Mossy

    Newbie planning first trip...

    Welcome and enjoy
  7. Mrs Mossy

    New member

    Welcome aboard Del, here's to the good days on the road from Lancashire
  8. Mrs Mossy

    Paddy got a job as a lumberjack

    but try as he might, he couldn't meet his quota of fifty trees a day. By chance he saw an ad in a shop window for chainsaws 'guaranteed to fell 60 trees a day'. So he bought one, but the best he could manage was forty trees a day. So he took it back to the shop and complained that there must be...
  9. Mrs Mossy

    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started

    He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for...
  10. Mrs Mossy

    A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

    A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan. The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?. The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce." The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce...
  11. Mrs Mossy

    You get what you paid for

    So a little girl is walking on the sidewalk, a car stops and a man says "come in the car, I'll give you candy" the girl says " no, I'll walk"...5 min. later the same car stops again and the man says "I'll take you home, I'll give you a whole bag of chocolate" the girl says "no, I'll just walk...
  12. Mrs Mossy

    A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.

    The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman...
  13. Mrs Mossy

    A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves up to the first class section and sits down.

    The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here”. The flight attendant goes...
  14. Mrs Mossy

    A blonde got tired of blonde jokes...

    One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last...
  15. Mrs Mossy

    An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three

    The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing. The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange...
  16. Mrs Mossy

    Today

  17. Mrs Mossy

    Budweiser

  18. Mrs Mossy

    All of the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge

    "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food...
  19. Mrs Mossy

    Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger

    are talking to each other about their long careers as action heroes. Sly says, "You did some okay comedy, but you have the governorship and political success to be proud of." Arnold says, "You've had so much recognition in Hollywood. I've never been nominated for an Oscar, you have have been...
  20. Mrs Mossy

    A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl...

    One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor. After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home...
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