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  1. Cheap Drunk

    Man goes to the bar "Can I have a double whisky please" Barman serves him Man downs it in one & orders another double "I shouldn't be having these with what I've got" he says as he drains the glass & asks for another Barman fills him up again & the guy says " another double please" as he throws...
  2. Bus

    2 fellas staggering home one night past the bus depot. Mick says to Seamus "lets nick a bus it'll be quicker than walking" "Ok" says Seamus "you keep watch while I go in & get one" Much revving of engines & grinding of gears later, yer man drives out in a bus. "Jeez what took you so long?" says...
  3. Playing out 2nite...

    Anyone playing out tonight? Gonna be at Sealife Centre in Scarborough later tonight if anyone's bored....😏
  4. Hairspray

    Old guy is sunbathing in the garden, his young grandson playing nearby. Little lad keeps disturbing grandad so the old fella says to him " I'll give you 50p if you can catch a worm" 20 mins later the lad's back with a worm. "Got one grandad, I caught it & pulled it out of it's hole" Grandad...
  5. Telegraph Poles

    Man goes for a job putting up telegraph poles. First day, boss says "how many poles did you put up?" man says "2" "Not enough " says the gaffer, "try & do better tomorrow" Next day "how many today?" "Managed 3 today boss" "Still not enough, last chance tomorrow, gotta do better" Next day he's...
  6. New full member

    Hi all. Just paid up my subs finally to become a full paid up member! Thought I'd update my profile, got rid of my ambulance as it wasn't happening for me, & done a deal on a 5.5tonne Iveco bus so hopefully should be starting on the conversion in the next couple of weeks. Looking forward to...
  7. Checking Back In

    Hello gang! Just checking back in. Been off line for a while and couldn't get through to admin to reset my password. Have I missed owt!?:anyone::confused:
  8. Disco

    Went to a disco last night They played "The Bump" so I did the Bump' They played "The Stomp" so I did The Stomp' They played !Come On Eileen".... Nearly got thrown out for that one!:rockroll::raofl::banana::lol-061::cheers:
  9. Another Royal Payday

    MP's have apparently taken just 13 minutes to approve a 100% raise of royal family Pay packets, and also a 360 million improvement package for Buck House! Makes you glad to be English don't it? Not sure how many public services were stolen from us to fund this latest round of blatant excess at...
  10. Polar Bear

    Mum...Am I a real polar bear? Course you are darling. Are you sure I'm a real polar bear? Course I'm sure... loads of white fur, big paws, definitely a polar bear! You absolutely sure mum? Course I'm Sure! Your dad's a polar bear, your mum's a polar bear, You live in the arctic, and eat seals...
  11. Cow Joke

    Q. What can a cow do that a woman can't A. Stand up to it's boobs in water without getting it's bum wet!:rolleyes2::wacko::wacko::dance::lol-061:
  12. Dentist

    Man goes to dentist. "How much for all the teeth out" "We got 3 plans" says the dentist, "Plan 1, No pain, No blood, and 7 days stay in our private suite. Only £2,500" "Anything cheaper?" says the guy "Well plan 2 is fairly popular, Bit of pain, Bit of blood ,and just 2 nights in our...
  13. Can't Work People Out?!?

    When I was Young I taught myself to weld. Over the years I've welded all manner of things for people, from artwork, to car repairs. But nobody remembers me as "That welder bloke" Then I drove diggers for years on all manner of jobs from housing projects to major road construction all over...
  14. Quick 'N' Easy!

    Couple of quick one pan type belly fillers for you all to enjoy: Put some Strips of ox liver in a sandwich box with 6Tbsp Plain flour and shake to coat the liver. Coarsely chop 2 onions. Fry the onions in a little Butter flavour FRY LIGHT spray Add the liver and fry the lot till it's...
  15. Happy new year!!!

    Just wanted to get in early and wish one and all a very happy new year for 2017! Thought I'd do it now before the mist descends! GOOD LUCK AND SAFE TRAVELS FOR THE COMING YEAR TO YOU ALL:cheers::wave::cheers::cool1::cheers::banana::cheers::goodluck::cheers::beer::beer::beer::beer:
  16. All Over Now

    Well gang it's all over now bar the shouting! Hope one and all got through it without too much upset. Time to look forward now to another year of new places and new faces! Good luck one and all on your travels. Hope to see some of you out there in 2017 Have Fun And Stay Lucky!! BEST WISHES FOR...
  17. Glad to be alive moment!!

    Just got back from dentist. Had 2 major fillings so my whole head feels numb (business as usual there then!) Sat throbbing while I look out the window at the lousy torrential rain. Gas just ran out so now the whole house is freezing cold. Life feels very sucky just now wishing the ambulance was...
  18. Ambulance Back From Welders

    Got my ambulance back from the welders today:dance: Start the conversion this weekend so hopefully won't be too long before we're out and about! Looks good now it's got a floor again! Hoping to do a nice 2 berth job on it for me and "mini me" ( my likkle boy!) so should be plenty room for a few...
  19. First time caller!!

    HI just checking in.My lad & I looking forward to new social scene and poss some new faces.
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